February 26th, 2009; 10:26 PM
Bloodwork is done.
Dinner is done.
She didn't recognise her own home today. I had a moment where I really wanted to cry, but then realized that what my job is...is to be the rock. I am the rock of Gibraltar; The Pillar of Hercules. And my job, is to be solid. To protect. To stand gaurd. To be there. I am supposed to be a constant. Not a flaky, broke down, wreck. I realized that this is what my mother did for me, what my Grandma did for me, and what my Grandpa did for me. -When I was a kid, I was very loved and very protected from worry. I never knew of any major trouble or strife because my family would never burden a child with that kind of stress. My family was really good that way. (We are of course excluding my father in this equation..because..well...you know...) And now it's my turn. I have to give back. I have to rise to the occasion..even if I'm not sure I *can* do it. -I *must* find a way. Mama is tucked in bed, but scared. She just wants to be with me. So I told her I would watch Jerry Maguire with her in bed. ...So I'm off...to watch a movie. Way past my bed time...but fuck it...I would have been up anyway. :P
Neurologist is tomorrow.
Bloodwork is done.
Dinner is done.
She didn't recognise her own home today. I had a moment where I really wanted to cry, but then realized that what my job is...is to be the rock. I am the rock of Gibraltar; The Pillar of Hercules. And my job, is to be solid. To protect. To stand gaurd. To be there. I am supposed to be a constant. Not a flaky, broke down, wreck. I realized that this is what my mother did for me, what my Grandma did for me, and what my Grandpa did for me. -When I was a kid, I was very loved and very protected from worry. I never knew of any major trouble or strife because my family would never burden a child with that kind of stress. My family was really good that way. (We are of course excluding my father in this equation..because..well...you know...) And now it's my turn. I have to give back. I have to rise to the occasion..even if I'm not sure I *can* do it. -I *must* find a way. Mama is tucked in bed, but scared. She just wants to be with me. So I told her I would watch Jerry Maguire with her in bed. ...So I'm off...to watch a movie. Way past my bed time...but fuck it...I would have been up anyway. :P
Neurologist is tomorrow.
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