Thursday, July 22, 2010 at 3:35pm
Do you ever find yourself in a place thinking “This is *not* it.”? That’s where I am right now. Everything that is happening now with my mother is so *not* it. I don’t want to be here. This shouldn’t be happening. And she deserves so much better than all of this; it’s just heartbreakingly unfair. I know that things are transitory. And that even though I am caught up in a swirl and rush of time that is going too quickly, moments that I am angry for wasting, I know that for my mom time might feel quite different. Quieter. Perhaps more painful and scary, I don’t really know. I feel like we’re getting ready for a big trip and don’t know what to pack. Don’t know what it will be like. Don’t know where we’re going. And so I find myself saying the same things over and over again…
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Can I hug you one more time?
I love you.
Do you ever find yourself in a place thinking “This is *not* it.”? That’s where I am right now. Everything that is happening now with my mother is so *not* it. I don’t want to be here. This shouldn’t be happening. And she deserves so much better than all of this; it’s just heartbreakingly unfair. I know that things are transitory. And that even though I am caught up in a swirl and rush of time that is going too quickly, moments that I am angry for wasting, I know that for my mom time might feel quite different. Quieter. Perhaps more painful and scary, I don’t really know. I feel like we’re getting ready for a big trip and don’t know what to pack. Don’t know what it will be like. Don’t know where we’re going. And so I find myself saying the same things over and over again…
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Can I hug you one more time?
I love you.
Jenn Knight Also - having been there I know that feeling exactly. Say I love you so much it feels absurd and give more hugs than you think is humanly possible. And know that you are loved as well.July 23, 2010 at 10:33am · · 1 person
Vanessa Medina Thank you Jenn. I get a lot of comfort from you especially because I absolutely know you do know how it feels. Love you too. And thanks. :)August 4, 2010 at 2:11am ·
Rainee Everett Stahr When Stan had his second stroke. I saw the immages of his brain and was devastated when I saw the damage from the hemorrhaging. Just take a deep breath. You're a young, sweet warrior, and you will conquer whatever the outcome, whenever the outcome. Ten years from now you will still be the same blessed sweet warrior only stronger.August 4, 2010 at 5:36pm ·
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