April 13th, 2009; 11:37 PM
I just found out the reality of a certain persons timelines. You know when you find out the truth...and there's that "aha moment"? But not the kind of "aha moment" that Oprah's having, where you see the light and it all becomes clear, and suddenly you are empowered with clarity and wisdom....I'm talking about the "aha moment" where you finally get it. And you realize that the reason his story was full of holes, and that the timelines were seriously wonky, was because he wasn't being forthcoming and honest. And now he (supposedly) is (but honestly lord only knows the truth about that! And I'd have to be some kind of stupid to fully believe everything he says at this late juncture). And you understand the previously unexplained silence and awkwardness of those who were in the periphery -friends...his father that knew the truth long before you did and didn't want to be involved or have to tell you something that frankly he should have. And you feel embarassed. Not that you should...because this time you didn't really do anything wrong. This time, you were just stupid. And stupid's not a crime in this state (yet). You trusted someone that you should have been able to trust...and it just didn't serve you well in this instance. Oh well. Let it go. Try not to read too much into it or let it affect you. You don't want to be one of those bitter types with all of their prickly outsides, and carefully gaurded insides, and no trust in humanity. You prefer to leave with your dignity intact (yes Mark...that is the story..and I'm sticking to it. I am walking away with my head held high, and my dignity intact.) and your preserved open heart, and enthusiastic, resilliant ability to love DEEPLY. And BIG TIME. Because that's how I roll. So there.
I just found out the reality of a certain persons timelines. You know when you find out the truth...and there's that "aha moment"? But not the kind of "aha moment" that Oprah's having, where you see the light and it all becomes clear, and suddenly you are empowered with clarity and wisdom....I'm talking about the "aha moment" where you finally get it. And you realize that the reason his story was full of holes, and that the timelines were seriously wonky, was because he wasn't being forthcoming and honest. And now he (supposedly) is (but honestly lord only knows the truth about that! And I'd have to be some kind of stupid to fully believe everything he says at this late juncture). And you understand the previously unexplained silence and awkwardness of those who were in the periphery -friends...his father that knew the truth long before you did and didn't want to be involved or have to tell you something that frankly he should have. And you feel embarassed. Not that you should...because this time you didn't really do anything wrong. This time, you were just stupid. And stupid's not a crime in this state (yet). You trusted someone that you should have been able to trust...and it just didn't serve you well in this instance. Oh well. Let it go. Try not to read too much into it or let it affect you. You don't want to be one of those bitter types with all of their prickly outsides, and carefully gaurded insides, and no trust in humanity. You prefer to leave with your dignity intact (yes Mark...that is the story..and I'm sticking to it. I am walking away with my head held high, and my dignity intact.) and your preserved open heart, and enthusiastic, resilliant ability to love DEEPLY. And BIG TIME. Because that's how I roll. So there.
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