Crawling Into Bed With Mom

Aug. 13th, 2009 at 9:10 AM


I have an 2:45 appointment tommorrow with Dr. Armstrong who ever that is? My Doctor's schedule is full so I'm seeing someone else in her group. I just need to do something. I woke up this morning wishing that I was dead. I can't go on like this. It's so painful. 


I had a painful knot in my stomache last night which woke me up. I padded my way barefoot, down the hall to the bathroom in the dark. I kept the lights off intentionally. I've had insomnia for ages, and one of the things that I read about insomnia said that if you have to get up in the night to use the bathroom, to try to keep the lights off because when you turn them all on, it's like a signal to your brain that it's time to wake up. It said to try to stay in that sleep mode. So there I was in the dark, when I heard my moms voice. "Hello? Is that you?" 
"Yes, it's me mom."
"Are you ok?"
"Yes. I'm just going to the bathroom."
"Oh. OK. I love you." 
"I love you too."
"Where are you? Come here."
After I flushed and washed my hands, I went to her room. 
"Where are you?" She said again. I reached out my hands in the dark and found her. She had her hands up by her face, searching the darkness around her for me. I gently touched her hands and moved around behind her and crawled into bed with her. She grabbed a hold of one of my arms and wrapped it around her and lay back. "Are you missing What's-his-name?"
I laughed. "Yeah. Ol' What's-his-name...yeah...that guy. I wish I could forget him as easily as you."
She laughed too. "I'm sure he loves you."
Groups:Inner Circle Peeps
Mood:Broken