Aug. 17th, 2009
8:23 PM

Who woulda thunk it? The turning point would be a new bike. It was just enough to create a small space for positive momentum. And once the inertia of that momentum took place, things finally started to get better.
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kitty8fish wrote:
Aug. 18th, 2009 05:12 pm 
Just caught up on the last couple of entries -- a lot has been going on!
Yeah, good ol' what's-his-name... :P But I am so glad you had the experience of someone treating you well recently -- and isn't it funny how you think, wow, so-and-so would have never done this... but i like this and i want this!! And it's awesome to actually get it!
Yay about the bike... I loved what you said about it, "She's having a hard time, let's give her a bike." :)
Love you hon, you'll make it through this and get ready for all the awesomeness that's waiting out there for you.

Aug. 15th, 2009


6:18 PM


Spent last night with my girlfriends. We hugged, gabbed, ate, and had fun. On the way back, I had a really good conversation with Leslie which helped me feel much better about everything that's going on with Joshua. I managed to get a sunburn on my left shoulder (I was in the car driving.). I haven't had a sunburn in ages. It's kind of funny in  a way. I realize that I've gotten used to slathering on my sunscreen...but forgot this morning. Ha! I have a nice white bra-strap mark to show for it. Anyhow...I'm working on the house, and feeling more empowered. I'm going to be just fine.
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Good Luck And Bon Voyage!

June 18th, 2009; 6:32 PM

Current mood:cheerful

If we all go after our dreams, eventually we will all part ways. Hopefully we will also meet again, in better times and circumstances. Older, stronger, kinder, and more filled with contentment. You are about to depart on your venture. And I am happy for you. There is no reason for a gift. You want to travel light. So I will simply be there to send you off in style and with much love. Tonight we drink a toast to your good fortune. And a destiny that you chose for yourself.

Weight Lifting (Down There)

May. 3rd, 2009 at 6:41 PM



So we're almost out of Depends. (I know this is really cool stuff to talk about right?) (That was me being facetious in case you didn't catch that.) And I'm wondering about where the best place to buy them would be...and also if the small/medium size will fit La Suprema AND be enough to hold her pee. (That lady can pee like a racehorse!) I'm looking online and there's a company that does nothing but sell supplies for incontinence...and they sell *this*...


Feminine Personal Trainer®
Imagine your pelvic floor muscles (the ones responsible for holding back urine) being strong enough to lift up to one whole pound. Impossible? Not with the FPT (Feminine Personal Trainer®) now available in two weights - 12 oz. and 16oz. 


ONE WHOLE POUND!!! Holy kershmackerbies! I just keep thinking about those FedExes at work that we send out. (A pound can be surprisingly heavy.) I'm not sure my vajayjay could lift a pound. And there's something about the wording in this blurb that is just a little funny to me. "Impossilbe? *Not* with the FTP!" -Why nothing's impossible...for a girl with a dream! ;-)
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witty_banter wrote:
May. 4th, 2009 05:44 am 
Honestly, this just makes me want to buy one to see if I can do it.





vanmedi wrote:
May. 4th, 2009 07:44 pm 
I am a bit curious too. I just couldn't take it if my vagina was *also* completely out of shape. My abs? -Yes...I can handle that because almost everybody else I know has the same problem...but my vagina? I like to think of it as being in *peak* physical condition. ...Like if my vagina could take a walk without me...it would be climbing Mount Everest! "Oooh look! Vanessa's vagina is climbing to the summit today! ...and *without* a sherpa too!"




kitty8fish wrote:
May. 4th, 2009 11:48 pm 
hahahaha go vanessa's vagina, go!!





kitty8fish wrote:
May. 4th, 2009 04:11 pm 
Hahahaha, pretty funny. The idea of inserting cold steel that weighs one pound into my vagina doesn't seem that appealing somehow. Duck lips once a year is enough.




vanmedi wrote:
May. 4th, 2009 07:46 pm 
What's *not* appealing about that??? (Kidding)..But seriously..."Duck lips"? In your vagina??? Hmmm...explain yourself.




kitty8fish wrote:
May. 4th, 2009 11:48 pm 
"duck lips" is a nickname for the speculum used in our lovely annual gyn exams.




vanmedi wrote:
May. 5th, 2009 11:16 pm 
OH! Yes..they do look like duck lips don't they? I had a physical today...I also got my annual gyn exam done too. I was actually surprised. I've never had it all in one shot. I wasn't expecting the duck lips today. It was so awkward too. She had her fingers in me, and we were talking about what kind of dog I had...and if she was high strung. I accidentally said that the dog got nervous...I have no idea what I was saying! My dog doesn't get nervous. She's bouncy and robust. *I* was the one who was having a hard time having a *normal* conversation with someone's fingers in me. Yay. Good times. 
:-P

Bittersweet

July 20th, 2008; 1:23 AM

Current mood:weird

I had a good evening with my friends tonight. It was a going away party for one of my best friends, Leslie, and I went with Tim (also one of my best friends.) They are both leaving by next Friday...Tim will probably be gone by Thursday though. :-P They're moving onto really great things. And I am very happy for them  both. She's going onto med school, and he's finally in his dream program for winemaking. They're good people who really deserve to get what they want in life. I love them both. And I'll miss them. Even though it only means I or they will have to visit, or we will have to rendezvous at some half way point...I have some trepidation as to how our friendships will evolve from here. I know we will still be friends. But it also seems very natural for things to be different, and possibly for things to drift away. I really hope that doesn't happen, and I will do my best to make sure that doesn't happen. But life is what it is. And we will see...My friend Guy, used to go to Davis (the school that Leslie and Tim are both going to.) and we were still very close, so who knows?

01:23 AM

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    Turbo Intercooler

    Well Davis is not that far. Honest. Tim and Leslie are both very powerful and wonderful people. Good people. They both care big big about you. Don't sweet it, just call them from time to time and let them know how you feel.
    ... and no Vanessa has not completly lost her mind just yet... only mostly.. I am just to lazzy to log in right now.

My Almost Letter To The President

• Nov. 28th, 2007 at 9:41 PM

Hi world!
I'm still here. I began to write a letter to the President today...but then my internet connection momentarily went out, and the letter was lost to cyber nothingness. Oh well. It's not like he would have read it, been inspired, and changed some of his policies or political stands...but who knows? Maybe deep down, humble little ol' me can be inspiring...even to giants? Well...I'll try again.
Much Love,
Vanessa

• Mood:  content

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Doddeling

October 18th, 2007; 6:37 PM

Current mood:rushed

So there's this guy in my class who seems like he'd be a really cool friend to have...and I have to do something about that before the end of the class. He is so nice and friendly. He came up and started chatting with me today. I found out he lifts weights competitively. (Which makes sense...Leslie called him Mr. Beefcake! Hahahhaa -He *totally* is!) Anyhoo...it feels like this could be the begining of a beautiful friendship.

I'm going away for the weekend!

• Jul. 13th, 2007 at 12:59 AM

OK I'm feeling pretty good right now. Still not sure what to do with my love life. But I'm excited about going away for the weekend. I hope all goes well..I am too excited to sleep. I hope my tent works..and that my adventure goes well. I talked with Mister Cool today. And he's hoping that I'll be back soon soon soon. Which I will. And he told me he missed me..I hadn't really talked to him for 2 days. Not long..but still he was used to at least talking to me everyday.  And he missed me. And he's going to miss me this weekend. Aaaaawwww. So who cares about old what's his name? I am looking forward to enjoying my wonderful life. Leslie..I'll see you in the morning..Yipee!

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• Mood:awake

Pride and National Leaders Teleconference

• Jun. 25th, 2007 at 12:57 AM
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• I had a fun filled weekend. Yesterday I went to Pride with two of the most fun, lovely, and intelligent girls around: Leslie and Jodi! The day was jam packed with awesomeness. Today I went to TWO buddhist meetings. I can't believe that!?! I had the young womens meeting this morning and then a meeting for all of the national leaders in the afternoon. We were teleconferencing with Danny Nagashima and Matilda Buck (one of my personal heroes! -Every time I hear her speak or read something she wrote it is so inspiring.) It was honestly a weekend filled with humanistic values. Going to Pride was not just a fun thing to do, but it was also very moving for me. I am not a gay or bisexual woman. -At least not yet. As far as I have experienced and am aware...I'm straight. But it was so wonderful to go and be a part of the festivities. It felt like a group of people gathering and celebrating the wonderful diversity that is *us*. And honoring and celebrating gay people as a community. I really love that. To me, not being gay and going was like banding together in the spirit of friendship, sisterhood, and the true spirit of world peace. Being a participant in an event like that is like taking a stand in a small but meaningful way. It's a way of saying through your actions that "Hey, I'm cool with people being gay, bi, whatever they want to be. And I want to live in a world where that kind of freedom of love and expression of who you are is celebrated." I am glad I was there. And I'm glad to have gone with the people I did. 
•      The teleconference today was actually very serious. It was the first time we did that. The purpose of it was to align all of the national leaders with President Ikeda; so that we can work together more efectively towards world peace. I was remided that challenging my obstacles is necisary to bring about this world peace movement. And that we all have to be a part of it. The spirit of our leader is to have us each as individuals, rise up as strong leaders for world peace. It is not only my responsability to have my own human revolution and develop my inner peace, compassion for others, wisdom, love, and happiness. It is also my job as a leader to help the young women within the division to also develop and grow. -I need to lift them up, so that they can blossom and develop into the next generation of leaders for world peace. I need to help them see themselves in that light; to know that they are infinitely powerful and that they *really* can make a difference in this world. President Ikeda was very serious about that. It is incumbent upon me to not only challenge my obstacles but to be victorious over them. -Something that I kinda forgot. hehe. It's a somewhat scary thought for me sometimes to think that I can't just keep saying that I'm doing my best (when I know I'm not always) and that I really do have to reach a point where I *do* make major breakthroughs in the challenges that I am facing. -To not be defeated by them but rather to win over them in the end. To truly manifest my buddha-nature. To have a deep and resonant happiness within my spirit that is not affected by my external circumstances. Big stuff. Deep thoughts. Hopefully good future! Wish me luck.

Nothing *sheepish grin*

• Jun. 2nd, 2007 at 11:16 AM

He wrote about me. And mentioned me by name...so there is no guessing as to who he was talking about. Apparently he writes about me often enough in his real life, tangible, hold in your hands, journal. It is in his words..."A juicy saga between his heart and Vanessa." Just knowing that changes a lot for me. To know that he thinks of me and that as far as all of the women he has known...I am *the juicy saga*...well, that just plum touches my heart! It makes my heart sing! *sigh*..(get a hold of yourself girl...)

• Mood:  touched

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