Aug. 16th, 2009
12:43 AM

Just got home from Movie. It was awesome! I had a great time. He was so considerate. He called me on the phone because he wasn't sure if he should knock on my door so late. And when I came out, he was waiting right there for me and gave me a big hug! It was so nice to be greeted like that (by someone who was OBVIOUSLY excited and happy to see me!) He opened the car door and waited for me to get in, and then closed it behind me. (Super gentleman points!) And this time around I bought his ticket (because the last time we went out, he paid for everything.) He really appreciated it. It was not like Joshua who kind of like expected it, and then wasn't really that grateful. Meh. He opened every door. Walked with me. Bought me a soda. Probably would have bought me anything else that I wanted...but I had candy in my bag which I shared of course, and I didn't really want anything but a soda. He told me that the licorice and peanut butter cups that I brought were his two favorite candies and then happily shared them, but didn't hog them all. (Joshua would have.) And then he also let me pick out where we were going to sit. We had such a good time. And he wants to know when we're going to do it again. :-) He is a really nice guy. I am still in love with Joshua which sucks. But this is really awesome! And I could totally get used to this kind of treatment. My face hurts from smiling so much tonight. I just can't help it. I had so much fun! ...You know what's nice about this time? I do not have the same feeling of deep sadness that I had the last time we went out. The first time we went out...It was SUPER AMAZING! And I had a blast, but I was also very sad because I couldn't help but wish that I had had this amazing date with Joshua. The whole night I kept wishing that I was there with Joshua eating dinner, going to the movies, talking afterward and looking at the city lights...and having this really great feeling of kinship and fun and camaraderie. ....And also appreciation. It felt really nice to be liked for who I am and really appreciated for being me. I have been a little starved for that kind of kindness in my relationship with Joshua, so it felt extra, extra nice. I can feel that although Joshua is still deeply in my heart, in time, that will slip away. Gradually I can and will fall out of love with him. I just have to give it time.
Groups:Inner Circle Peeps


Comments





witty_banter wrote:
Aug. 16th, 2009 05:18 am 
Oh my goodness, you are a truly beautiful writer ON TOP OF being a beautiful person. 


This is such a familiar topic to me, the feelings still so resonant. 


I love this.


vanmedi wrote:
Aug. 16th, 2009 08:24 am 
Thank you Jodi. It's really a struggle to fall out of love. ...And thank you for telling me that I'm a beutiful person and writer. I need the confidence builders. :-)