So Busy These Days...

March 3rd, 2010; 2:47 AM

Current mood:awake

Days go by. Rushed. Filled with things. Always. More and more things to do. Enjoyable. But too much. Too packed in. Never enough time to just sit and be and relax. Even relaxation and sleep has become an exercise in how quickly and efficiently it can be done. *Power naps* are a perfect example of this. How much strength and focus can be regained in an optimal 20 minute period of rest. Not even necisarily sleep. Just actively focusing on rest. Deep breathing. Pushing the diaphram to expand and hold air. And slowly, somewhat painfully, letting it go. But not hurridly. Not the way you want to. Push yourself to relax. Hold onto every last morsel of air until you feel like a dying person stuck underneath a wave, getting rolled and being so close to the top, so close to real air, but knowing that you must wait to breathe. That mindlessly breathing is a luxury. Like a dog panting. Pushing the mind too. To clear itself of all distractions. Focusing on a mental image of a candle burning in the dark. Troubles, thoughts, excitement are all wind passing over the flame, causing it to flicker and whip about. And my job is to silence all of that. To clear the mind so that the flame burns strong without movement or distraction. To clear the mind and not think.