Minty Fresh Breath

So...I was laying on my bed with the cute boy. A girlfriend of mine works as a dental assistant and she was telling the girls from ladies night how Crest and Colgate are really bad for your teeth. Crest in particular. I have Crest at home. I love the painfully minty feeling in my mouth. And how it lingers afterwards. I guess it's not so much the pain that I like...as it is the feeling that I am really cleaning the shit out of my teeth! Anyhoo...my friend told me that the primary ingredient in Crest is crushed glass. Glass? Glass! And that it basically erodes your enamel and doesn't really do a good job of cleaning your teeth and gums. I did notice that sometimes after brushing my teeth I would have a slightly raw feeling in my mouth. I just chalked it up to over zealous brushing...but it turns out it was the glass filler in my toothpaste. Shame on you Crest! She suggested using Sensodyne, or Tom's of Maine, Aquafresh...

Flash forward, and I have my new tube of Tom's of Maine toothpaste. I love it! And it does actually clean my teeth better than Crest did...No painful minty sensation and my gums are happier too. So I ask my boyfriend how he likes the new toothpaste?

V: "Did you try the new toothpaste?" (said enthusiastically)
CB:"It's kind of oily."
V: "Oily?"
CB: "Yeah. I mean it works. But it's kind of oily."
V: "What do you mean?"
CB: "Just that it tastes like oil."
V: "You're talking about the new toothpaste I got right?"
CB: "Yeah. The natural one."
V: "Yes. It's white right?"
CB: "It said toothpaste on it. It's natural right?"

at this point the Cute Boy gets up and goes to check the toothpaste in the bathroom. I'm quite sure that whatever he's been brushing his teeth with is *not* in fact my toothpaste, and he's convinced that it is...but he still has to check. When he comes back...the mystery is solved.

CB: "I used the dog toothpaste."
V: (insert hysterical laughter here)
CB: "Well it said toothpaste in big bold letters. And natural. And then in small letters at the very bottom it said 'for dogs'. Plus you had it on your sink where most people keep their toothpaste."
V: (more hysterical laughter)

Here's the dog toothpaste. I can see what he was talking about. If you were tired. It would be easy to just see the big bold red lettering of "Natural Toothpaste" and give it a go...teehee.

This is more what *my* toothpaste looks like.

In the Cute Boy's defense...he was right. I did do all of those things. I keep my toothpaste in my shower with my toothbrush...because that's where *I* brush my teeth in the morning while I'm taking a shower. It makes perfect sense *to me*. And I did have the dog toothpaste in the bathroom by the sink...because I was brushing my dog's teeth. :) LOL.

V: "So it didn't taste like peanut butter?"
CB: "Not really. You can try it if you want."
V: "That's OK. I'll take your word for it." :)

I LOVE YOU CUTE BOY!

YOU ARE THE BEST

YOU ARE THE FUNNIEST

AND I HAVE THE MOST FUN 
SHARING MY LIFE WITH YOU!

ALSO...

I KEEP MY TOOTHPASTE IN THE SHOWER.

FYI.