Showing posts with label You Deserve More Than This. Show all posts
Showing posts with label You Deserve More Than This. Show all posts

Monday, September 3, 2012

Overcoming Obstacles: The Foreclosure & Being Robbed

So many things have happened to me since I last posted. I'm surprised that the blog has kept a fair amount of readers coming back. To those of you who just kept coming back, and perusing my older posts...thanks.

I wasn't exactly sure where to begin, with what has been going on with my life. And that initial "not knowing where to start"  quickly became overwhelmed and just deep-bone-tired. I didn't want to look back at what I had just gone through. It was too painful and too fresh. I just wanted to move forward with my life and just keep going. But even those intentions seemed to befuddle me. I've been waiting to write, so that when I did, it would be something positive. Something useful. I didn't want to seem like a sad or broken person. Or like someone who whined a lot or was constantly down. So I waited. I waited for the wisdom and the beauty of life to occur to me. I waited to see the deeper life lessons that could be gleaned from tragedy. I know they're there. But honestly. I am a little wounded. The things that I've been through *did* hurt. A lot. And they still do. Don't feel sorry for me folks, 'cause I'm making it through just fine. But denying the pain of it, just isn't helping me any. So it's time I just get back to trying to be real. The real me. With everything that entails. -Including being hurt and sad at times. So here it is: my childhood home, a place which should be mine today, was foreclosed on. The bank refused to speak with me, after my mother died, and refused to acknowledge me as the rightful owner. They wouldn't accept any payments from me. And in the end, stole my family home. A place, where my grandparents lived and died. A place where my own mom, lived and died. A place where in some ways I have lived and died a little too.

I never thought I would see this day; when my home was not my *home* anymore. The word "home" has so many connotations. And I've been struggling with it ever since the move. When my mother died, I struggled with it then too. I didn't feel like that house was home anymore, without her there. It was hard coming home to an empty house, with no one to greet me, and no one to love. The place that I live in now, is so different. The people are very different, and not very warm in the way my family was. So it's hard. I miss that. I miss feeling like "I belong" here, and that "this is my home" because my heart tells me so. My heart keeps telling me that this current place is not my home. It's just a temporary place. A tent in the desert..but not the promised land. I know that I should be grateful for what I've been given, and I am. I just also, feel very alone and adrift right now. And I *want* to feel that wonderful feeling of *home* again. The feeling of love, and warmth, and comfort. It has very little to do with the actual house really, and so much to do with the people. -I miss my family. Deeply. Every day.

I am loved. I know that. And I do experience joy, and happiness. But not in the same quantities or frequent daily occasions that I used to. Not to the same depths either. It's a hard adjustment to make. And I get stuck on how to appropriately express this grief, while not insulting those who actually do love me and are here for me. -I don't want to hurt their feelings, but I know that I do. Just by being sad, I do.

Somewhere in this whole ordeal, I was robbed. The robbers took everything of value. It's been several months since this happened, and the things that they stole that I was most upset about (my grandparent's wedding photo's) -which I'm sure they weren't *trying* to take, but unfortunately were stored with other things that they did want; have luckily been replaced! How can a wedding photo be replaced you ask? Well I'll tell ya! Luckily for me, in an old antique chest in the garage, my grandparents had ONE duplicate copy of their wedding picture inside the church
...and to my surprise...ANOTHER photo that was taken of them *outside* the church!
YAY! Awesome discovery!!! Also...since my mother was adopted, I thought for sure I would never get another copy of her birth parent's wedding photo...but because it was an adoption within the family (the woman I know as my grandma was biologically my great-aunt) there was a copy of that photo given as a gift to my grandparents. :)) YES!
So the most priceless things have been replaced. The diamonds, the gold, the money, the china, the furniture, the antique silver, my photography and computer equipment are all replaceable. Sure it won't be the exact same pair of earrings that my mom gave me, to remind me always that "you are special".  But it doesn't need to be. I know I'm loved. I know I am special. And I know that I will make it through this period of my life and onto greater things. And when I do...I am getting myself a pair of diamond earrings to celebrate. In the mean time...I'm back, I've got my fighting spirit back, and I'm ready to enjoy what there is to enjoy about life.

...Just for good measure...I'm including another awesome photo I discovered in the trunk:
This is my Grandpa when he was a little boy. The year is 1922. The woman with him is his mom, Edith. From what I've been told, Edith was a very loving woman. She used to make fresh whipped cream (whipped by HAND in those days!) EVERY DAY to go with whatever dessert she made. Talk about love!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

This is *Not* it

Thursday, July 22, 2010 at 3:35pm

Do you ever find yourself in a place thinking “This is *not* it.”? That’s where I am right now. Everything that is happening now with my mother is so *not* it. I don’t want to be here. This shouldn’t be happening. And she deserves so much better than all of this; it’s just heartbreakingly unfair. I know that things are transitory. And that even though I am caught up in a swirl and rush of time that is going too quickly, moments that I am angry for wasting, I know that for my mom time might feel quite different. Quieter. Perhaps more painful and scary, I don’t really know. I feel like we’re getting ready for a big trip and don’t know what to pack. Don’t know what it will be like. Don’t know where we’re going. And so I find myself saying the same things over and over again…


I love you.


I love you.


I love you.


Can I hug you one more time?


I love you.


  • Jenn Knight Love you.
    July 23, 2010 at 9:25am · 
  • Jenn Knight Also - having been there I know that feeling exactly. Say I love you so much it feels absurd and give more hugs than you think is humanly possible. And know that you are loved as well.
    July 23, 2010 at 10:33am ·  ·  1 person
  • Vanessa Medina Thank you Jenn. I get a lot of comfort from you especially because I absolutely know you do know how it feels. Love you too. And thanks. :)
    August 4, 2010 at 2:11am · 
  • Rainee Everett Stahr When Stan had his second stroke. I saw the immages of his brain and was devastated when I saw the damage from the hemorrhaging. Just take a deep breath. You're a young, sweet warrior, and you will conquer whatever the outcome, whenever the outcome. Ten years from now you will still be the same blessed sweet warrior only stronger.
    August 4, 2010 at 5:36pm · 


Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Reconciling Myself With Failure


Aug. 12th, 2009 at 5:03 PM


Sometimes making peace with failure is the hardest thing to do. I guess it's because it's a tricky subject. I think of all of those people who quit when their goals were actually possible. When they were more than capable of finding a way to improve an overwhelmingly bad situation. And they just lost heart, courage, and their own inner confidence. I don't want to be like that. But I also don't want to sink everything I've got in a man who doesn't love me. I want to be smart. I want to be good to myself. I also want to be happy. Reconciling myself with failure is very hard to do. Viewing this failure as a win seems also like lying to myself. I'm a work in progress, but I'm sure I'll get there eventually.
Location:Home
Groups:Inner Circle Peeps
Mood:  blah

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Good Random Nice

March 10th, 2009; 10:16 PM
Good things happened today. Random but very nice. 
1. I got a very expensive coat for free for my mother. -It fits her perfectly; no rolling up the arms for her. It also made her very happy. She felt special and loved. And it also directly addressed a common fear of hers..which is that it's "cold and wet outside"...even on sunny days she has this idea. 
2. Someone gave me a free ticket to see the opera. AND my supervisor is the one who suggested that I might be interested in it...and encouraged me to go and take some time for myself. That was pretty cool. It's neat that she picked up enough about me to know that I am the type of person who does like opera. Madam Butterfly. I'm seeing it tomorrow. 
Things are going. tra la tra la. My tummy has been hurting for the past few days. Physically hurting. It makes me wonder about/google things like diverticulits....even though I doubt I have that. I don't usually have a sore tummy for this long. I wonder if I need to eat more and eat more regularly? That seems like the top culprit to me...or maybe it's a flu? I've been busy, exhausted, and going from one thing to the next lately. Last night I ate at a rediculous hour. I'm doing the same tonight. I wonder if this is the pain of being hungry? But perhaps it is such a rare thing for me...that silly me...I'm worried that it might mean that I have diverticulitis, when really all I need is a good burger?  
Mom was sweet today. She kept saying she was tired and was going to take a nap. But then right after I tucked her in, she would forget that she was taking a nap and be afraid that I was not there...and ask me where I was. Then I'd tell her I was in my room and she'd say "Oh...ok. I'm tired. I'm going to go lie down." Rinse and repeat.... When she has her energy up again, we'll go get physical therapy. Right now, she's too weak and confused. I told her it was a sunny day outside and that I was going to take the dog for a walk...and she asked me to stay in with her...so I did. Poor doggie. She get's the shortest end of the stick. But I'm making it up to her by feeding her kibble with canned dog food and cottage cheese. I think she'll forgive me. 
Poor Momavarious...she deserves more than what I have to give her...but it's all I have to offer. And so it goes..tra la tra la...