Too Many Doctors

July 3rd, 2006; 5:33 PM

Current mood:determined

So today I had some major breakthroughs with my mom's medical treatment. First, let me say, that I hate having so many doctors with so many different oppinions. The don't seem to talk to eachother. Or work together. And they all seem to think it's the other doctors problem. We finally got a hold of her Psychiatrist to change one of her prescriptions that her neurologist thought could be causing some of her "cognitive impairment" ...it has taken us almost half a year to get an appointment with her! Arg! I found out that her Psychiatrist is not designed to give any sort of talk therapy. Her sole reason for existence at Kaiser is to dole out pills. Which leads me into our next big breakthrough! I was so annoyed that her Doctor's answer for everything was a new pill. I had no idea that was her job! So now, we will seek talk therapy elsewhere. (OK. Just tell me the rules people. I can follow them.) We also requested a new MRI with "high contrast" or something like that. And a second opinion from a more experienced neurologist. We also scheduled my Mom for an appointment to get her eyes checked, because heaven forbid that part of her problem is that she just can't see shit! I thought that this might be part of the problem because when we work on her flashcards, she often times mistakes 0's for 6's.  and has a hard time differentiating between 11's and 1's. and 10's and 0's. Oh, and finally, we requested a referral to a new psychiatrist, because eventhough her current doctor is sweet, she just flat out has not been working for my mom, and I have to try all variables and see if they work. She was so hard to get ahold of, and today we just found out why. (She's supposed to be part time! And she's overbooked.) This explains why we could never get an appointment sooner that 2 months out!

I know my life is great in a global scale. I don't have any war going on in my backyard, I have a home and food to eat, my limbs are all intact, and I have friends and people who love me. But I just can't wait for life to get better than this. I want to feel excited about my life. I want to have a sense of freedom and enthusiasm that just penetrates my being. I want to feel like I did when I was a child (too young and too innocent to ever imagine the hard times. Someone who cannot imagine a future that does not include happiness, fun, joy, love, adventure, laughter, and success at whatever I decide to go after!) I want to get more in touch with my feelings of confidence in me and other people, where I know (down to my bones) thatEVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT!