Caltrans Fairy

June 22nd, 2006; 2:01 AM

Current mood:sleepy

OK. So I'm awake at 2 in the morning. And you might wonder why...insomnia? -No. It is the heat? -Nope. Could it be the sound of heavy machine gun fire? BINGO! ...but it's not really machine guns going off in the background. It's actually freeway construction going on near my house. It bears an uncanny resemblance to the sound clips heard on CNN from third world countries where US. citizens would have taken their cheap summer vacations, had civil unrest or US. Military invasion not taken place. Damn military! ...Spoiling all my cheap, exotic vacations! Arrr. This totally reminds me of when I lived in San Francisco. I had this great apartment on Hyde Street, and I was in the front room. Great room. Huge, 12' ceilings, baywindow, fireplace, big closet. Loved it! Every morning I'd get down from my loft bed and invariably a cable car full of friendly tourists would pass by and wave at me. I got a kick out it. After all, when I first moved in, I wasn't accustomed to getting caught in my jim-jams by complete and total strangers. But I was a good sport. -I waved back. ..then I looked into getting curtains.  So there I was...being a good sport, when one night the city works people, or caltrans, or whoever is in charge of this stuff, decided to do some "much needed work" on the Hyde Street cable car line. They banged away -Big-Large-EAR-SPLITTING-Metallic-BANGS! That went on all night long (well not really -I am embellishing.) It went on from 1 in the morning to 5 in the morning. The hours that the cable car was not running. Arg! "for the convenience of the commuting traffic." Yeah right! Like any normal person commutes by cable car. ..(OK, so I commuted by cable car.) But like I said: Like any NORMAL person does it?! Anyway. This torture went on for weeks. In Buddhist terms it went on for endless kalpas of suffering. Is this just my karma? Is any road that I live near destined to have some major midnight construction? Perhaps. Perhaps I'm the Caltrans Fairy, and I just don't know it yet. My secret identity has yet to be revealed to even me! OK. Maybe I'm just tired and talking out of my ass. Ahh. Whatever.