Shams Fadhil

December 17th, 2008; 11:24 PM

Current mood:confident

OK. Read this. Please, just take some time out of your busy life to connect to the rest of the world, and read this:

http://www.pressdemocrat.com/article/20081217/NEWS/812170317/1035/news08?Title=A_life_changed_forever_by_Iraq_war

There are so many things that spring to mind after reading this for me. I think about how all of our actions (our destinies) are connected. How what we do and contribute to the world around us really does have meaning. It will have an effect. So we should be aware of that and honor that power. I think so much of the time we wander around living our lives in a half-conscious state. Where we don't even think that we are connected to people like the Fadhil's, or world events, like war. We are though. We have so much power to create beauty in this world. To develop strengths in our character where there may be weaknesses today.

For the last few years of my life, I have been on a journey. I have been forced to change a lot of my weaknesses out of necessity. Through taking care of my mother, I have grown so much. I've really come a long way in developing my strength, unshakable-determination, and compassion. -Mostly my compassion. I've learned how to love people through the hard times, and to be concerned (deeply concerned) with the welfare of others. It's hard sometimes. I think that it is natural for us to be lazy, selfish, and somewhat pessimistic when it comes to believing in our abilities to create a substantive change that our hearts may yearn for but our heads tell us is impossible.

In Buddhism, there is a term called Sansho Shima. Sansho Shima is all of the stuff that suddenly seems to appear or jump up in the way, when you make a heart-felt determination to go do something. It's kind of like life's way of saying "You want it? –Then prove it." You see, if a person isn't really committed to achieving their goal, it's easy to become disheartened when obstacles get in the way. The really hard obstacles to combat are not so much the external ones; they are the internal ones. The insidious doubt that can creep in a day or two after you've made your determination…or that small feeling, the disconnected feeling that says "You can't do it Give up. Be realistic." Oooh I hate that term! -"Be realistic." I've nothing against actually being realistic….it just that this term seems to be used all too often to keep people down. To keep down and quash the aspirations of those who want something better than the status quo. I've heard it said before that "What people can do is amazing; what people will do is often times disappointing." It really has nothing to do with ability. We have the ability. We just have to believe in ourselves collectively…to believe in the nobler aspects of the human nature…and then to take actions, which are predicated upon our ideals.

When I first read this article I thought that Mr. Fadhil's statement "I was dreaming of Shams to be an engineer or a doctor. Now she can't be anything but a blind girl." Was such a mix of things for me? It was beautiful that he had such belief in his daughter. It bucked the stereo-type that we are told here in America about Middle Eastern men and the role of women. I liked that he dreamed of a life for his daughter that would be roles which in the past would be typically male, and would hold a place of esteem in any culture. It broke my heart and made me angry that he thinks that all doors are closed to her now, except that of being a blind girl. I know that's not true. She might have hope with corneal transplant surgery in Europe orAmerica. She also can still be an engineer or PhD. (a doctor…probably not the type he was thinking…but she can still be a doctor.)

In this country... you can be blind and live a very full life. –So why not there too? If it's because we need to make changes in the world and make sure that resources are available to people so that blind people can function, read, communicate, and be accepted as full fledged members of society no matter where they are…then let's make those changes. If we need to care about poverty levels and war, which makes poverty endemic to these war torn regions…then let's do the work. There are so many actions we can take to improve situations like this.

In the case of little Shams, it seems like the solution is so obvious. At the end of the article I was searching for it. I even looked online, convinced, that it must exist somewhere…but I couldn't find it. I was looking for a number, address, or contact information for some sort of charitable organization that was collecting donations on behalf of this family. I was looking for the follow-up story that said that Dr. So-and-so from such-and-such country is donating their time and performing the surgery. But so far no body has taken up the gauntlet to make this happen. "Don't go it alone." –That's what my professor told me once. It was when my mom was first in the hospital. He was telling me that there are two ways people can handle big problems…they can try to be strong and stoic and just do everything themselves (big mistake!), or they can share what's going on with them, and build up a support team of people who love them thereby lightening the load while also making you feel loved and having the security of knowing that you are not alone in this world…there are people who love you and are here for you. It seems like such a universal need. One person might have a very hard time helping out this family. But I really think that as a collective, we have so much power to really change the life of this girl, the lives of her family, the way we perceive people on the other side of the world, the way our countries interact, and ultimately how we foster peace. –I know we have the ability to do that.