Rising to the challenges of life, Ropes courses, And the hottest guy I've ever seen!

July 15th, 2006; 10:56 PM
Current mood:accomplished

I had a great day today!

But let me start back a couple of weeks: I was walking home one day, and it happened to be a particularly long walk (about 7 or 8 miles on a hot day.) I was almost home, and I decided to take a shortcut. What I didn't know was that this shortcut had drastically changed, since the last time I had seen it. Where there was once a grove of beautiful, tall, and massive eucalyptus trees, there was now: a track, tennis courts and surrounding it all, an 8' tall chain link fence, with all of the gates tightly locked. Oh, and a high school football team was practicing there! Arg! If I backtracked, I would have to walk an extra mile. So I mustered up my courage and after thinking about it for a minute, I climbed the fence. It was so fast. I was up and over the top in 2 seconds! The last time I climbed a fence, I was a teenager. I think I am actually much better at it now! What a huge surprise! I felt so good after doing that. I thought about it on the walk home, and I came to this: I felt awesome because after being tired, I came to what looked like a major roadblock, that my first instinct said: "You cannot do this! What are you thinking? Have some dignity!" But I ended up doing something that I didn't think I could. AND I did it well!That was such an ego boost. My self-esteem was soaring! And I pledged to myself, that I would do this more often (challenging things that I didn't think I could do).

So...When my friend J.R. invited me to go do a ropes course today with a bunch of friends, I was like perfect! This is just what I need! Especially since this week was so hard. (My mom had another stroke. The worst one yet. She needs to use a walker now, and cannot speak clearly, or even heat up food. At the hospital, she didn't know where she was. She thought she was in San Francisco at the post office. And she kept calling me Mom.) I had such an awesome day today! And I was challenging myself, not only physically, but socially (I met and made a lot of new friends today.), and also the core of my nature (it's a big challenge for me to remain centered and happy in the midst of such hard and sad stuff. My natural tendency is to just freak out, cry, cry some more, say "I don't think I can handle anymore!", and then I pull in and get depressed. Which is notsuch a good coping strategy. I need to be courageous in my lifeespecially now. My mom needs me to be courageous and happy. She needs that kind of spirit to get through this. And so do I.

At the ropes course, I got all geared up, and started to climb the rope ladder. Half way up, Travis and I realized that I didn't have my helmet on. He tried getting it up to me, but as I was dangling there, gripping with all my strength, I realized that there was no way that I was going to be able to let go with one hand, catch the helmet, and put it on. I could barely hold on with both hands. So I came down, put on the helmet and started to climb back up. By now, my hands were so tired. My grip just couldn't hold me anymore, and I climbed down again.  I went down to get some water, and my fingers and hands were so fatigued that I couldn't turn the handle to turn on the water. I had to use both hands, and it still hurt! I know what you're thinking: "What a wimp!" But it had to do with how I was climbing. I was placing my feet in the wrong position, which not only caused my body to lean out (putting most of my weight on my hands and arms), but it also caused me to swing around on the ladder (nice). I went back, mustered up my courage, and said "I am trying again, and I am getting up this ladder!" And I did! This time I went fast so my fingers wouldn't give out, and it was so much easier! I did the ropes course! I walked the tight rope! I did the zip line! I belayed! I also did the rope rocket twice! Loved it! Big time! I am so going back! And I had such a fun time with such an awesome group of people. There was so much diversity and camaraderie in our group! I loved it! What a great day.

When I was getting dropped off at Aromas, I saw this really handsome guy that looked familiar. He saw me and smiled at me and said hi. He is the kind of guy who is sooooo hot that you almost feel like you'll burn your retinas just looking at him! Like: "didn't your mamma ever tell you not to stare at the sun? Girl! You can go blind that way!" Honestly, he is the most attractive man that I have ever seen in person. So I go up to him, convinced now that I remember how I know him (It MUST be this math class we were in.) And he says hi, and tells me that it was a film class. And we've met before. He remembers me. I don't remember him, until he reminds me that his name is Jordan, and we had this super long conversation once in the hallway, where he was really flirty and nice, (and even back then, I thought that I knew him from a math class!) How embarrassing. And I wonder to myself, how on earth is it possible for me to space out and forget the most attractive man that I've ever met?! And it hits me. He's hot. Really hot. Total ego boost. BUT! I don't love him. I am madly in love with Joshua! Which is how I could easily forget "the unforgettable Jordan".  Isn't it strange how love works sometimes. It's like forgetting that you've ever seen heaven because your heart tells you that there is a better heaven over here (even if it's not as obvious to the casual observer.)