Jive Turkey

• Nov. 19th, 2008 at 2:58 PM

I just got off the phone with Joshua. He was sweet and offered to pick me up from work, since the weather is so gloomy, and I am on my bike. He's also taking me shoe shopping tonight for work shoes, since mine are falling apart (literally, the sole of my right shoe is separating from the leather upper.) These are all nice things, and our conversation was pleasant. He had dinner with Oshyan last night. It's the first time they have gotten together alone in over a year. There's a funkiness with their friendship, and neither one was talking about it. I knew this meeting was a big deal. But when I asked him how it went, he was vague. I asked if he had a good conversation and worked some things out?? And he himmed and hawwed and eventually said we had a good conversation and I'm going to leave it at that. Meaning: don't ask me any questions, I prefer to have all of the power and be mysterious...don't look at my cards when I'm trying to keep my poker face on." I don't like it when he does this. It's dumb. There. I said it. Off my chest, now back to work.

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• Mood:  disappointed

Comments

kitty8fish  wrote:
Nov. 20th, 2008 11:38 am 
sometimes there are things people want to keep private, though. i think that, ironically, he would probably be more likely to tell you if it seemed like you didn't give a rip how it went. at least in my experience, boyfriends can be kind of dumb because they don't like it when you pry, but when you don't pry, they wonder if you are still interested in them at all, hahaha. oh well. i think the power of mystery is only there if the knowledge it hides is desirable. his power disappears if you don't care about what's behind the curtain anyway, ya know? :) hey i'll be in town this weekend and next weekend, lemme know if/when you'll be around.

vanmedi wrote:
Nov. 20th, 2008 12:53 pm
I agree. We ended up going out last night, and he was still vague, but he did say that he gets that I really care about him and Oshyan, and their friendship/happiness. Which was a good turn around. I also did back off with the questions about the conversation. And it did seem like he was more up for sharing then. Ironically...he had nothing to say that was really interesting to me. Ha! I'd say...He has an arrogance problem that is blinding him to the real state of his friendship with O. He basically said that they've been best friends for over 19 years, and they're always going to be best friends. And that he knows Oshyan better than anyone else. The whole time he's saying this, I'm kind of cringing inside and thinking "Whoah buddy...you don't even have a clue. I love you. But seriously mister...if you want your friendship to be restored to it's previous glory, or even better, then you have to actually have a few really good talks and work some serious stuff out. Otherwise...your friendship will be diminished, and possibly will cease to be at some future point. Which is your business. If that's what you are willing to settle for because you are too afraid to open up your eyes an pay attention to the reality of your relationship...well OK then." I may be wrong though. I have noticed that both he and Oshyan are much more passive when it comes to resolving issues. They seem to have an approach of avoidance..which kind of works for them. And by "works for them" I mean "hobbles their friendship and makes sure that nothing is ever really resolved." But they seem comfortable with that. I think it's a fundamental difference between them and myself. But since they're both in the same boat of agreement on how to handle things...I guess I should just back off and care about my relationships with them. Yep. Minding my own business now. For as long as I can... (jeepers..this is hard.)