January 10th, 2008; 3:45 AM
Current mood: overstimulated
[1.] When was your last kiss?
Yesterday...but *real* kiss?? Like Romantic? ..Way too long...December 31st, 2007! Geeze! That was like a year ago!
[2.] What's the funniest thing that happened to you today?
Nothing funny yet. I guess the funniest would be the sound of heavy machinery rutting around in the muddy field behind my house, where there once stood an old farmhouse that Luther Burbank once owned, and did some of his horticultural experiments from...it's gone now..torn down...I don't know what they'll build now. Probably a parking lot until they buy my house and get to do something really grand! (So..nothing really funny per se)
[3.] How many best friends do you have?
Loads. I used to only have 2..but then one of them died. (Hit by a car) And it made me realize a girl needs more than just 2! Becasue that can become one so easily. So now I have about a dozen...one of them isn't talking to me right now..but I hope he'll get over it, and get on with the friendship soon. ..Gee these answers are so weird for a survey...
[4.] Would you rather get up early or sleep in?
Ca depend. If I'm happy...and it's Cristmas morning...or I'm backpacking...then the answer is GET UP EARLY! WOO HOO!
But if I'm home...and there's nothing special going on...or I'm cuddling..then SLEEP IN ooohh yeahhh. Lately I've been longing to sleep in. I was working 7 days a week, and I was exhausted! So this is my one week off before school...and I've totally been sleeping in at every chance. In fact I've been doing a lot of "power napping" too...even though I already got a full nights rest, and I don't have anything particular to power up for...I guess fundamentally...I like to putz.
[5.] Tell me where you got each article of clothing you're wearing?
Merino wool sweater...was a gift from La Suprema.
Super soft blue jeans..I bought myself at old navy.
Best earthtoned multi colored toe socks in the world....I got at Enduring Comforts.
[6.] What's the closest thing to you that is brown?
The headboard for my sleighbed....it's a mahogany brown.
[7.] What would you change about your life right now?
I would be happy. (I'm so so happy right now...but I would be VIBRANTLY happy) I would want the robust enthusiasm of Teddy Roosevelt; the strategy, confidence, and problem solving skills of Anthony Robbins; the calm unwaivering spirit of Daisaku Ikeda; ..oh and I would want to bust through my obstacles like a demon with an iron staff! ..So basically the main thing I would change right now would be my attitude. But if we're talking magic genie skills...I would be happy, AND rich! And healthy, and my mom would be healthy too!...and then I guess I'd be on vacation somewhere. And in school... YUP. That's it.
[8.] Would you rather smile over a lie or cry over the truth?
It depends. If I am not close to you and it's a small thing...like weather or not you like my hair, or clothes then be nice and make me smile. If you're one of my close friends...then be honest. I probably won't cry over it...in fact Leslie can vouch for this. But if we are discussing things that are serious that really would make me cry, then the truth. Make me cry. I would rather have the power to make an informed decision than not. I have only had one situation that really mattered like this anyway. ..Strangely it was not about Joshua. I think every lovers spat, or clearing of the air, or break up...only rates a 5 after the Doctor Ho moment. Dr. Ho was/is my mom's neurologist, and he gave me a horrible choice between two courses of treatment, one of which *might* prolong my mothers life, the other of which would kill her within 24 hours if they were wrong. They didn't know what was wrong with my mom, and had narrowed it down to two things, with divergant treatments. So it was a coin flip. And he wanted me to make the call. That made me cry.
[10.] Who was the last person you got into an argument with?
All of my examples are like half examples...not full blown arguments. I was upset with Joshua, but I never argued with him about it...Instead I calmed down and wrote out in a level headed way how I was feeling and what my needs were for the situation, and then he wrote back explaining, and I felt better with more understanding, and it was not an argument.
..the other examples...would be Sash being upset that it took me so long to cook for my mom...Merg..again...not an argument. Just her expressing her needs, and me listening and understanding.
..Wait! Amy! She was running late, and I had to get to work on time, so after waiting for her until the last possible moment before I would be late, I left. She had her own car, and didn't start work until a half an hour after me, so I knew she could get there herself on time. But I didn't want to be late. ...Yeah...she was really mad. I never really argued with her, but she did leave a very irate message on my answering machine.
[11.] Do you trust people?
I'm not very good at that. I try. But I have to admit that my heart is always testing, inquisitive, and cautious.
[12.] If you could move away, no questions asked, where would you move?
South of France, Mallorca, London, Paris, Hawaii, Australia, Dubrovnik...someplace like that. I would most like to live in the ancient walled city of Dubrovnik. Someplace old on the outside, but with streamlined modern ammeneties here and there on the inside. Ancient golden limestone walls, with a modern porcelain toilet. I would love to swim in the Adriatic, and watch the sun set, in it's hues of gold, orange, and pink. I would want to watch it sink into Italy, on the other side of the sea. And I would like to eat fresh fish, caught by the local fishermen, and bake bread like the mama's there. And line dry my clothes. And play in the fountains, and meander along the hidden passages of the city.
[13.] Have you ever been out of the country?
Dubrovnik. ...Yugoslavia, Venezuela, Switzerland, and Germany.
[14.] Could you go a day without eating?
I think anyone "could" it's just would you want to? -No.
[17.] When was the last time you had your hair cut?
A few months ago.
[18.] Would you rather be mad or sad?
Mad. However I find that I'm just by nature, more likely to go to my sad place than my mad place. ..But mad is more useful. I think I need that fire in my belly.
[19.] Does it take a lot to make you cry?
Yes and no. It depends on the situation. I would say some people think the answer is no...but it's only becasue I have been dealing with some heavy shit. And the longer I deal with it, the more adept I become at dealing with heavy shit, and the more it takes to make me cry. At one point I literally did feel all cried out. Like there was nothing left to cry about.
[20.] Whats the best feeling in the world?
Deep and unshakeable happiness. -No doubt. A happiness that wells forth from within, and is not dependent upon external circumstances.
[21.] Are you close with your mom?
Yes. Very. She is my treasure! I love her more than the sun and the moon! I have to tell her every day, at least 3 times a day, that I love her. And I tuck her in at night and give her kisses...so...I'd say yes. We are close.
[22.] Are your parents strict?
My mom wasn't strict..but she was an interesting mix between bohemian artist, and conservative good girl. But not strict. My father is rigid in what he thinks a woman should be...but that doesn't make a person strict..plus he never really had any power over me. as he was not around much..He's more like another adult in the world to me. And I am like a failure as a woman to him. Oh well...
[23.] Do you tell your parents everything?
No. I share a lot of things with my mom, but I also have to protect her. That is one of my primary roles. When I was a kid...one of the best things my family did for me, was let me be a child. They didn't worry my mind with adult concerns when I was a little child. I was protected and allowed to be innocent. I felt like the world I lived in was a warm and loving place, and that people were always doing their best to make it better. As an adult, I know that's not true. But now, I return that protection and peace of mind to my mother. When things are hard, I don't let her know. I want her to be happy and at peace. So in a way it's a lot like relating to a child. ...As for my father. I rarely see him. And I don't tell him much.
[24.] Would you rather be a bird or a fish?
A bird. It seems safer as a bird. Being a fish..it seems like there are so many dangers in the world. Fishermen ready to catch and eat you. People with aquariums that would like to posess you and hold you captive just to look at you. And also just the food chain in general...I think as a fish..you are almost asured a sudden death at the mouth of a larger fish. But a bird...might die of natural causes. Plus you'd get to fly! And SING!
[25.] Name one fear you have.
I am afraid of being destitue. (This isn't like one of those fatefull curses/blessings where you name your fear and then are forced to face it only to find that you are not afraid of it, and that it's no big deal?...if it is...then I change my answer to the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man!)
[26.] If you need to go to the store a block away, do you walk or drive?
Depends on how much time I have, what I'm getting, and what the weather is like. But if it's optimal conditions..then walk.
[27.] Does the thought of marriage scare you?
No...that is not one of the things in life that scares me.
[28.] How many kids do you want?
Good question. Two. Because one should never have to go it alone.
[29.] What's your favorite color to wear?
Red, Brown, and Olive
[30.] Who was the last friend in your bedroom besides you?
Joshua
[31.] What are you doing today?
Putzing. I have to deposit some checks, and then pay the mortgage, and cook some food, walk the dog, register for classes, get my books, deal with the parking permit...I have things to do..I'm just enjoying my respite.
[32.] Would you rather be rich & sad or poor & happy?
Neither. I wouldn't settle for either one. I want to be rich and happy.
[33.] Do you work out?
Yes. I walk the dog, and go to the gym. Leslie and I weight trained together last week I think? My quads were repairing for days!
[34.] What would you do if you sharted in public?
I would quietly excuse myself, get to a bathroom, clean up as best I could, (most likely throw away my underwear) then go home and take a shower, wash my clothes, and get into my pj's and get some good enzymes into me because sharts are not normal for a healthy body.
[35.] Do you get bored easily?
Not really. I am inquisitive. So I like to explore..thus I am almost never bored, unless something is going too slowly for me...But I wouldn't call that bored..it's more like quiet, frustrating, anticipation. Where you're aching for it to get to the good part already!
[36.] What's something that someone can do that really bothers you?
Talk about me behind my back, when they really don't know me, or what they are talking about. I also don't like snarky, passive aggressive attacks...you know the kind where they say it in a way..where you'd be a jerk to say something about it and call them on it..but they are obviously being catty, but the only thing you can do is leave or turn the other cheek.
[37.] Did you ever want to change your name when you were younger?
God yes..and it was embarassing! Thank god my mom didn't let me! I wanted to be Coco.
[38] Do you wish you were famous?
Sort of. It would be good to be valued. To have contributed something of substance to the world around me...to give something great to the world. People like that always end up famous. But I would also like to have the kind of fame where people didn't necessarily know what I looked like. I like being anonymous sometimes.
[39.] Do you make a wish at 11:11?
I have never even heard of this? However, I do hold my breath through tunnels and make a wish. My favorite wishing tunnel is the rainbow tunnel as you are coming through the Sausalito hills and it opens up to that beautifully framed view of San Francisco and the Golden Gate. It's such and inspiring vista, it always makes me feel like that wish is special and will come true!
[40.] When you're at the beach, do you swim or lay out more?
Surf. Swim. Kayak. Walk. Sit in the dunes and evaluate the wave patterns. Or lie in the sand and feel the earths warmth. (oh..I guess the answer is swim)
[41.] What did your last received text say?
Are you dead or something?
[42.] What are you freakishly obsessed with?
Responsability. I hate it/ love the power/ but want a vacation from it! I want to be free like a child. I am therefore freakishly obsessed with making my life what I want it to be.
[43.] What's your favorite song at the moment?
"Simple Twist of Fate" by Bob Dylan or "I Know What I Know" by Paul Simon
[44.] Do you like going to the mall to shop or just shopping online ?
I like both. But I'd say...I like finding things in a tangible way. So the mall. However online is less hassle and sometimes has better deals.
[45.] Can music affect your mood?
Duh! Yes! In fact I have to remember to not listen to so much melancholy, sad, and moody music. I need vibrant, happy, and disco!
[46.] What piercings do you want?
Nipple, clitoris...just kidding. I'm fine with my ears. Sometimes I think about getting my lip, or nose pierced..but I scar easily.
[47.] Who's your biggest fan?
My mom.
[48.] What tattoos do you want?
Henna...on my hands, feet, and collar bone
[49.] Have you ever been in a cave?
Yes. Geology!
[50.] What are you doing tomorrow?
Bah! Cleaning, getting ready for school. Probably seeing a movie. and attempting to relax despite the mountain of things I need to do.
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