I Did Not Say What I Should Have

May 14th, 2008; 1:40 PM

Current mood:disappointed

I had to write a letter about what I've learned about *myself* from taking a class on Middle Eastern Studies. It was such a strange thing to reflect on. Good. But also something that I found difficult to stick with. It was hard for me to keep the letter topical. What I learned about myself..not my *culture*...not statistics....dates....or facts about various geographical regions....but myself. What I'm thinking now...is that the main thing I learned in that class was to speak up. This particular teacher is at once, someone that I am afraid of, but also like. I can see that she does have a good heart and is striving in her actions and words to try to make this world a better place. She aslo scares the shit out of me. (She actually yelled at a guy in an electric wheelchair as he was trying to park it in class...he left and never came back. But before he left, he said to her that each and every one of us was afraid of her, but that we wouldn't speak up because we needed the grade. -I think he was in large part right.) What I discovered was that I am weaker than I thought. And that I need to keep my resolve in times of struggle and hardship. To just keep going no matter what. (I did.) But I should have done more of it. I should have spoken up more, and not have been so intimidated. I basically said that in my letter.