...Actually I can see the benefit in my recent struggles...it is making me into a stronger person. Each time that I jump over a hurdle...(when I'm not sure if I can), it builds my confidence in my own abilities...and increases my tolerance to uncertainty, risk, hardship, etc. Each time lets me know...that *yes* I can do this. Life is hard sometimes...but I can do this! In a way..I wish that my family hadn't sheltered me as much as they did growing up...because under their protection, life was: safe, and secure, and easy. I never really had to worry about much of anything. And I always felt solid, like someone was watching over me. -Because they were! The down side to that was that I have been having a very hard time making that shift to the present...where I don't really have anyone watching over me per. se. I have friends (who I know I couldn't do this without!) I am so grateful for all of the love and support and joy that they bring to my life. -It's what keeps me going. But it's hard shifting into the reality that the world is not as safe and secure as I thought it was...I was just protected. And now it is my responsibility to bear the brunt of the hardships, and to shelter and protect someone else. To make the world a safe and secure, warm, and comforting place for her. I've been doing it. But I wish that I had had a bit more of a primer than this. In a way, I wish that my family hadn't protected me so much. I would be much more tolerant to stress and uncertainty than I am now. ..But I'm building that skill...so I guess it's ok.
- Mood:
good
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