June 3rd, 2008; 11:26 PM
Current mood:
sick
I tried on makeup today. I feel a bit prettier than usual. But also...I don't like the feeling on my skin. Or the way I have to be careful with rubbing my eyes, or wiping my face. I'm not so sure... I might get some makeup...or I might just keep working on my skin.
Today, I also tried on pants for work...and swore to myself that I would lose weight. I hate feeling fat and sloppy...like nothing out there will look good on me. I am not built like any clothes makers models. My hips and butt are waaaay bigger than what they think is average, and my waist is smaller than the proportions of someone with a butt this big...OH...but my breasts...are too small...apparently they should be a D or DD, for someone this fat. And my shoulders are wide. Yeah...I hate clothes shopping when I'm fat. Did I mention I don't want to wear synthetic fabrics in god aweful prints? I want to be hip. Sleek. And stylish.
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