So yeah...I got kicked off the bus TWICE in one day! Woo hoo! Mr. Wonderful talked to me tonight. He's still hurt. -Not mad at me..but rather hurt. He said that he didn't think it was healthy for either of us to even try to be friends. And that it was sad really...because he really did like me. But that he couldn't see any other way than this. And that he was sorry if I felt like it went against some of the things that he had said and that I had hoped were true. -It does...and um...yeah...ouch. Who knows? Nothing is ever set in stone. I've made bigger comebacks than this before...but really...ouch. I am feeling so low right now. I feel like the moral to the story is trust no one. Don't trust someone when they say they "love you" (Joshua and Wonderful) ... And don't trust someone when they tell you to "make that leap...and you'll see you won't fall." (Wonderful) because you *will* fall...and they *don't* love you. Oh....and if by chance you ever make a huge mistake and lie about something....TAKE IT TO YOUR GRAVE! NEVER COME CLEAN! THIS IS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER! Definitely...don't lie in the first place...but if you do...never tell anyone about it. -NEVER. You may think that you are coming clean and trying to make something right that you made wrong...but in fact you are digging your own grave. If you really want to make something right...then never do it again...and let it go...you don't need to confess...just let it go and don't repeat it.
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It's a couple of days later...and I've had some time to think about this entry...and I just want to say that I take back all of the stuff that I said about telling the truth being a mistake...it's not. I think first and foremost...NEVER LIE!!! -It's soooo not worth it...eventually one way or another you will pay for every lie you tell. But if you *do* lie...it's still worth it to come clean. Because it has to do with living with integrity. I had a lack of integrity in these moments. And I had to take action to realign myself with my ideals. It wasn't easy but it was the right choice to make. And right now I am going through the fire for what I have done. -But it's still the right choice to make.
sad
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