Meh...I just spent a few hours with my mom. We stayed up late and ate bowls of kettle corn. Drank soda. And watched "Memoirs of a Geisha" together. I love hanging out with my mom. She is my treasure. Tonight she was a little more confused than normal. She tried eating her dinner with her knife...and then I showed her her fork and explained how it was easier to eat with a fork and that the knife was to help her cut the food. She thanked me for helping her with that and agreed that it was much easier to eat with a fork. For some reason she seemed to think that she had to go to the bathroom in the dark. -She's afraid of the dark. I told her she didn't have to and helped her with that. And when she went to bed, I tucked her in and she asked for as much light as possible. So I turned on two lamps in her room. When she asked about the morning..I told her in the morning we will turn off the lamps, but then...we'll open up the curtains and you'll get lots of sunshine. She asked "We can do that?" (she asks that question alot. It's like a little bit of confirmation and reassurance that she needs.) -I told her yes. I love my mom so much. I feel the weight of her illness in moments like this. In part because she is so sweet. She really needs me..and I'm reminded of that when I remember that she can't even cut her own food anymore. I guess I'm just reminded of her frailty and how quickly she seems to be changing, and drifting away. God...but I live for those moments when she is once again my mom. When she says "I love you *BIGTIME*" I'm looking forward to my life when it will be easier than this.
worried
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