Joshua

October 10th, 2007; 9:38 PM

Current mood:sad

Today has come in waves. For most of the day I've been so-so.. ca va. But then I'll have moments that wash over me of dull ache in my heart. They come out of nowhere. And I find myself missing him. I miss Joshua. Who knows what will happen from here. I just know that no matter what I must have a happy life. There is no other option for me. Right now I am down. But I like to think of it like being a tigress pulling in my energy and preparing to spring. I am in a moment of repose. In this time I will renew and find my peace. I will learn to be comfortable with uncertainty and when things don't go my way. I miss him terribly right now though...and honestly the world feels heavy without him.