We talked! -Sort of

• Sep. 24th, 2007 at 12:13 AM

I know this must be hideously boring to you all by now...but this is what's up in my life. I sent Mr. Wonderful and e-mail...not directly addressing the stuff that Leslie told me I should talk to him about...(I can't say that in an e-mail...too personal...)BUT! I did say in a round about way that I really wanted to seriously rebuild our friendship. I figure that is the foundation for which our romantic relationship will or won't grow from. I think the friendship is the point from which all other things grow...like trust..camaraderie...intimacy...love...etc. So I at least put that out there again. To which he responded quite candidly and well I think. He said he didn't want to do that via e-mail but since I had sent him that message he would. And I love that he even thought of that! -That he would have preferred to have had that conversation face to face! He really is awesome! Anyhoo...he basically said yes, that he did want to rebuild our friendship. But that it would take him some time. And that he was having a bit of a hard time making that shift. And that what he really needed from me was a bit more space (*not* complete absence! -he was very explicit on that one! YAY!) But he needed me to not be "ever present" at least for now...and that given time and understanding on my part for his feelings and shyness and letting his wounds heal...that he does think that things will grow naturally again between us!!! Yipppee!!! And he finished by saying that he *really* enjoyed our conversation the other night!!! YAY!!!!

You know what's really funny though?? I actually talked with Joshua a bit about him -He asked. And Joshua ended up encouraging me to go after him! -And not just let things drift away...or assume that things were permanently janked up. He told me to be patient. Basically he told me everything that Mr. Wonderful told me...which makes me wonder if they talked? Hmmmm??? Maybe?? Or maybe it's just universal knowledge that I was momentarily out of touch with? Anyhoo...it does make it easier to go forward a bit with Joshua's encouragement. -Not that I need it...but it does help. It makes me feel better about it. Anyhoo..this conversation might also explain Joshua's moody lameness yesterday. I really need to have more compassion for him in his situation. It is all too tempting to give over to my base human nature and give him a good dose of the dirt sandwich he served up to me only a few months ago! But I don't want to be like that. I really want to be better than that. So my plan of action is this: 1. Make amends with Joshua for my part of that ickyness...I need to apologize for calling him names. :-P Really...my mom *did* teach me better than that..I'm just not living it all the time. :-P 2. Give Wonderful some space and time 3. Go do my own stuff for a while. Like work out! See friends. Do art. Clean. Chant. 4. Stop thinking about this stuff so regularly. I think I've made it a habit...and I need to make some other more useful things habits. Anyhoo...that's the news.

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• Mood:  good