On the way into the movie, my dear friend Jess point blank questioned me about Joshua. (slightly uncomfortable) She has never been a big fan. In fact she has gone so far as to call him a "dirtbag." To which I can acknowledge her point. He does have "dirtbagish moments". But I still want/hope to be friends with him. There is much more to him than his worst moments. She doesn't think he cuts the mustard even as a friend. (I did not mention my recent relapse. -I actually slept with him! Aaaaaagh!) I am too embarrassed to tell good vibes that the reason they should step on my order is because I am in danger of relapsing again with my ex. I wonder if that would work? "Would you pretty please send me my new vibrator...so I can replace my old ex. and tell him no sorry my vagina's tired now and it needs a break...but we can be friends." Why do I even want to be friends with him? I wish I made more sense to me. Maybe this is just like going on a diet. Diets are no fun when you start them. They take a lot of hard work and restraint, but in the end you are happier and healthier. I don't know yet. All this talk about diets makes me hungry. I think I'll go make a chicken salad sandwich.
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