The thing is. In some ways he's right. I am not like everyone else. I don't really care right now either...(apart from the moments where I beat myself up for sucking so consistently...so his diagram was like I said unnecessary. Because I've already got that part covered.) I'm just glad I haven't had a mental break down...what can I say? -My standards are low right now. I feel bad enough all the time for not being able to do everything that I try to. I fail all the time. I agree with his assessment of me. I am not reliable. I wish I was. But frankly I am just not able to do that right now. If I could, I would. I literally don't have the time in my life to do everything. I don't have enough hours in the day, but I give it a go anyway. So it really hurts when someone highlights my failures (which I am fully aware of and already feel bad about.) He really loves me and wants me to be better than this. I get that the motivation for him was good, but man... The diagram was a bit much. I don't think I'll be able to ever do that to him or anyone for that matter. It's one of those things...where you get hurt..but there's really no way to show a person how much it hurts, because you would not do that to
them.
- Mood:
crushed
Comments
kitty8fish wrote:
Apr. 26th, 2008 09:00 am
stay strong. you are fabulous. taking care of yourself and then taking care of your mother are your first priorities right now. sometimes that will mean that the rest of things get neglected, but that's just the way it is. this is an extraordinary situation and there is only so much vanessa to go around - you're a hot commodity! and yeah, a diagram of suckiness is a bit over the top. :( i'll draw you a diagram of awesomeness!
vanmedi wrote:
Apr. 28th, 2008 12:09 am
Thanks. Please do. :-)
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