Battery Power 18%

August 22nd, 2008; 8:42 PM

Current mood:exhausted

I have to pee. How many times can one girl pee in a day? I  think it's the masses of beverage refreshments I've been sipping today. First, a 3-shot latte ('cause I need the caffine...it's either that or sleep.), then some caffinated grapefruit mineral water, then some herbal tea.

I have been drinking a lot of caffinated drinks today because I want to be alert. I have been so exhausted lately. I mean really...I think about people who colapse from exhaustion and have to be hospitalized...And I feel like being that tired is such a luxury. I don't have the time to rest fully. And I need to. I think part of it is a time management thing..and part of it is simply that I have WAY too much to do all the time.

I also feel like part of this is mind over matter...so I don't like to acknowledge how tired I am sometimes because I wonder if the act of voicing that reinforces that feeling? Does it make me more tired? If I said I was excited, energetic, and ready to go...would I be able to rise to the occasion? I know what I really need is about a week or two off to relax, get some good sleep, and just nourish my soul a little bit. However...I don't have the time or money for that kind of luxury right now. I will though. I just have to push through this time.

This morning, I actually thought of taking the day off...just because I was starting the day out feeling exhausted...and I hadn't even done anything yet. I knew I had  a 45 minute bike ride ahead of me...and another one after work. And I was just like..no way.. that's actually dangerous when I'm feeling this tired. But I baited myself here today. I told myself that 9 hours from now...I can be home, in bed, sleeping. (I knew my math was off..but I was lying to myself...so who cares -right?) Somehow saying 9 hours vs. the reality of 11 or 12 was so much better to my little brain. And my little brain bought it. I hopped in the shower, got ready, and peddled off to work. I cheated this morning though..I took the bus part way (shhhh don't tell). I actually did enjoy my ride though. I think I need to either take some sort of supplement for energy, drink rockstars, get a massage, get some major sleep, get back into the gym so that I have more energy (although I'm not sure about this one because generally I am already exercising on average at least 1.5 hours a day...and maybe this is why I am so frigging tired. Dear god. Let me sleep.) Basically I have to do something to get my energy level UP. Maybe I should get some of those little chocolate covered espresso beans? Hmmmmmm