March 8th, 2009; 1:47 PM
Current mood:
frisky
Current mood:
friskyLast weekend, while milling over little life details with a dear girlfriend, my friend turns to me, and in a very serious-lets-get-down-to-business tone asks: "What are the top three things you need in a mate?"
"Top three?" I ask. Now she knows me pretty well, so she already knows that I am the type of person who has put much though into this already. I have my first two down, no problem, I know those right away: "Intelligence and kindness." I know that I have to be with someone who is smart, I love conversation and exploring new ideas. I love to learn new things and I need to be with someone who is down for that kind of journey in life. Smart men are a major turn on for me. However, intelligence without kindess is a major turn off. I have no intention of spending any substantial ammount of time with someone who is lacking in compassion for others and basic good nature and manners. I want to be with someone who is kind-hearted. Someone who does nice things for other people "just because". -My grandfather was like that. I remember we threw an 80th birthday party for him; people came from all over just to be there with him. I had no idea how beloved he was by those outside my immediate family until then. But then it all made sense...he had spent a life time building friendships and being kind and loving to others...without expecting things in return...just simply because it was in his nature to do so. He had more wisdom about human nature than anyone else that I've ever known. And even knowing the depths that we can plummet to, he always chose to believe in the good of other people.
The last thing that I need in a mate is: "Intimacy". As defined by Wikipedia "Genuine intimacy in human relationships requiresdialogue, transparency, vulnerability and reciprocity." -I actually agree, which is why I added this in. For me, intimacy in a mate expands beyond that though...it encapsulates as well the feelings of joy, a deep and true abiding love and friendship, and the overall sense of camaraderie permeating the relationship. I want to know that no matter what...I'm in it with this guy. That we have eachother's backs. That we are always friends. And that even when we disagree our friendship is still in tact. Basically he's going to have to be very consistent with this one...well...with all of the top 3.
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On a side note: I found this amusing....my horoscope for today:
Scorpio (10/23-11/21)
A more intellectual connection with that new cutie may not be possible. Move on.
(hahaha. Oh well...)
Sorry dear, but you and I both know how funny and ironic it is.
If you were already in a relationship it would tell you that you are about to meet the one for you.
That is why I rarely read mine unless Heather sends me it. I am more of the believer in fortune cookies myself. Once I got one that said 12 43 12 1 7 14 and it was so true! Later I learned the fortunes were on the other side of the paper and I felt rather silly.
As far as the Big Necessary three go for me?
1. No beards, I just can't be serious about a girl with a chin strap
2. I will not be romantic with someone who is insane, I have tried and I can't take the crazies
3. Pie, if she bakes it I will come