Every once in a while she drifts into my mind. And I wonder...why were we friends anyway? Joshua asked me why I was friends with her? And I honestly had a hard time coming up with good reasons. But the more I thought about it, quantifying *valid and healthy* reasons to be friends with anyone is not an easy task. So much of the time it seems to come down to feelings. Or simply familiarity. -Having known someone and shared a span of time together. "We've been friends for a long time." was the first thing that came out of my mouth when he asked me that question. "That's not a good enough reason." was his response. And he was right. Having sucked it up for a long time isn't a good reason to keep sucking it up. I realized that our friendship was inequitable. And had been that way from the beginning. She's fun. And easy to have fun with. Are some of the other things that come up for me. But she is also really self centered (as we all are to some extent). ...But she's *really* selfish. Our tentative ending isn't the way I would have chosen to go out...but I guess my choices in the moment (my actions and words) in the end are mine to own. And I can live with them. I said what I really thought. Not what would be easy to say or easy to hear.
...And if our friendship is fragile enough to break with the truth, then I guess it wasn't much of a friendship anyway.
contemplative
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