I unexpectedly heard from Joshua tonight. I thought he was going to be out of town and cell phone range for the next week. So when I saw that I missed his call, I was minorly bummed. But then when I called him back and didn't hear back I somehow got really bummed about that. He said something about only having a little time in town. So I probably missed him. I hate this. It's a kind of uncertainty and lameness that I must separate myself from emotionally. I feel like just taking my heart, feelings, emotions, etc. and just muting them down. Turn down the love light. Make it dimmer please. That way it won't affect me. I won't even notice. I won't care one way or the other and it will be so much easier to be carefree and just enjoy the good times if my heart is not attached to any sort of outcome. I read once, that in love, you can only be hurt if you care. -It's true. :-P
discontent
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