Focus on What You Want

September 3rd, 2008; 12:12 AM
Current mood:contemplative

I was thinking about all of the things that I really want to accomplish in my life. I've been striving towards them, but sometimes it seems as if I am not  going fast enough. Or that in the time allotted that life –time—will just slip away, and I will be left with a less than extraordinary life. I don't want an ordinary life. I want to really stretch and grow. BIG TIME. I have some big goals that I want to see through to fruition.

1. I want to be truly and deeply happy. –This one I can do. I know I can. I am for the most part. I need to work ..ling my state and focus more though. Because life is filled with challenges, and I feel like my life is a little heavy on the challenge end of the scale right now, but even in the midst of my darkness…I want to be happy. I want to have an inner fortitude that just shines. Not having challenges is not possible. Pretending that I don't see my challenges is not a good idea…and will only lead to the opposite results of what I want. So I am left with seeing things clearly, but choosing what level of importance things hold for me. Basically deciding to NOT let anything rock my boat too much. And to consistently refocus on what my optimal outcome is in every situation, and how I get there from where I am at.

2. I want a great job. Something that I am excited to "get the opportunity to do every day!" And jobs like that seem to be intrinsically linked to higher levels of education. So...

3. I want to finish my education. I want a Masters or PhD. There are so many fields of study that interest me. But I have to hone down that vast field and choose wisely. I love school. I look forward to it. I want to do something that contributes value to the world around me.

4. I want to be really secure financially. I want to have enough money to sell the rental and buy or build a beach house where my mother and I can have a bit of respite. And we can go there on weekends to be with our friends and family, and just relax. I'm thinking BB-Q, kayaking, surfing, sandcastles, watching the sun set over the ocean, fires in the fireplace, board games, and lot's of good conversation and laughter.

5. Ok...here's one for the crazy dreamers:
I want to go to Africa and hand out treated bed nets to help fight malaria. Crazy but true. I have wanted to do this for several years now. It's a big dream. And I have responsibilities here that keep me from doing it. But one day I will. 

6. I want my house to be clean, comfortable, and inviting. When I get home, I want to feel like "Yeah! I'm home! I am so happy and lucky to be here! What a wonderful life I have!" Which for me would mean de-cluttering, and doing some major editing. Also doing some work on the house like painting, more lighting needs to be installed in the living-room -'cause man it's dark in there! And the pool needs a deck that connects to the house so that my mom can actually use it.

There's more, there's deeper, and there's a whole log bigger and riskier. But these are the things I feel comfortable posting.