Saturday, March 17, 2012

Day Fourteen and Fifteen of the Juice Fast

Day Fourteen and fifteen...Well... I took a couple of days off. I had an IUD inserted yesterday. After being in a monogamous relationship for a while, and deciding that I really *don't* want kids any time in the next couple of years, I decided to go ahead and get an IUD inserted. 

IUD's have come a long way since the sexual revolution of the 70's, when they were relatively new in this country and the kinks weren't completely worked out. I recall my mother warning me to never get an IUD because they could cause infertility and all sorts of problems in a woman's uterus. -A truly horrifying place to have problems! 

When I went to my primary care physician and requested an IUD, she told me that I would have to sign up for a class about long-term contraception, be tested for Chlamydia (don't ask why that specific STI test is administered...It's just standard issue for getting an IUD, they want to make sure that you don't have *any* STI's but especially that one, as I hear it can cause inflammation in your uterus which is a particularly bad combination with an IUD.) And lastly, I had to make sure I wasn't pregnant. Then, once all of that was done, I could schedule the insertion for the tail end of my next period. They like to put them in then because a woman's cervix is most dilated after her period, which makes for a slightly easier insertion, especially among women who have never had a child (me!).The procedure only took about 15 minutes, but was one of the most uncomfortable few moments of my life to date. When the Dr. actually pushed through my cervix, I had to grip the table. There was this very sweet nurse who kept telling me to relax...that tensing up would make everything tighter and therefore more painful. She asked me what I liked to do to relax...I told her I liked to get a massage. So she suggested that I imagine that this was just like getting a massage. HA! That idea was so funny to me, I couldn't help but laugh. Yes...this is *exactly* like getting a massage...in my uterus...by a stranger...with a speculum, and an IUD insertion tool. Yep. Just like a day at the spa. ;p For the briefest of moments, I thought "Geeze if this is how painful it is to have something as small as a pea go through your cervix, I don't want kids!" I mean, I cannot imagine how painful that would be. When it was done, the Dr. did an ultrasound to make sure that the IUD was in place, and then I was free to go. I felt nauseated and crampy. On our way out to the car, the Cute Boy held my hand, and said he really felt for all of the pain and stuff that women had to go through. "You women do a lot. You have to go through a lot. I'm thankful for all that you do.". Hearing that made me feel better. It was comforting to have a teammate who appreciated the physical sacrifices and responsibilities that women go through. I know, I have a good man. 

When we got home, I made some horribly inedible tortillas and had a small bowl of beans. Then I fed my hockey puck of flatbread to the dogs, and relaxed with a heating pad. I could feel the tissues around my uterus were inflamed and hard, and I marveled at the fact that my uterus (an almost imaginary thing to me...like unicorns, and the tooth fairy) was actually real...AND it was exactly where they had always told me it was. I've never had a baby, never felt anything grow. or push. or stretch there...so to actually feel it (my ute) was kind of amazing and cool. 

So I took yesterday off from the juice fast and just recovered and relaxed. That extended into today, as I was still feeling a bit crampy and tired. But tomorrow, I'm back on it. At my weigh in at the doctor's office, I discovered that I had lost another two pounds. Which is all pretty encouraging. I'm finally beginning to poop normally and feel better from the inside. So progress is still coming along, and I feel pretty good about that. 

Things I learned today:

  1. It's OK to take a break to take care of yourself.
  2. The Cute Boy continues to impress me and I feel very happy with him by my side in life.
  3. If I didn't have health insurance, getting an IUD would have cost me somewhere around $1,000 -for something that is little more than a small piece of mass produced plastic with a little string attached! I think it's completely crazy and just flat out wrong that women often times have to inequitably shoulder the expense, the responsibility, and the pain of contraception, childbirth, and child rearing. There needs to be a cultural revolution to change this. 

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