Day Eight of the Juice Fast

sSo yesterday was day EIGHT! And I made it through! I even sniffed my housemate's pizza, and admired how nice it looked. OK so I know that sounds silly...and like I MUST be jonesing for a pizza if I'm *sniffing* it like a drug...but I just wanted to enjoy the smell. with out having to indulge in the actual pizza itself. -And I did! Being able to pass on foods that would usually send me spiraling into a mass craving attack is a skill that I am *actively developing* in myself...and that's pretty cool as far as I'm concerned. This kind of stuff has historically NOT been my forte. But I'm getting better at it and learning so much through this juice fast. 

All in all, the juice fast it's self went really well yesterday, and was one of the easiest days so far. I had very minor cravings, which were easily re-focused and re-directed. I enjoyed the taste of my juices. And overall felt really well. I did have a moment of sadness, when someone posted this meme on Facebook about moms. It went like this: 

The last part about being willing to give everything up for my Mom to be here with me really got to me. I realize in a way, I have given everything up, but that doesn't bring back a loved one. The tears welled up inside of me and poured out, as I contemplated all of those adult years ahead of me -a vast stretch of time to me, where my mom wouldn't be around. I grieved the loss of the adult relationship, that we will never have the chance to have. And there's some really good stuff there. It makes me sad to think about all of those milestones and victories that my mom will not be here to share with me and my family. I miss her so much. And I love her so much. Where ever she is, I love her bigtime. Man...I WISH that I could go over to my mom's house and see her. I WISH that when I get married some day that my mom would be there laughing, dancing, and celebrating with me. (So I guess I'll just have to imagine that that's what she's doing in heaven on that day.) I WISH that she would gently and proudly hold and sway and dance with her grandchildren and tell them how loved and how beautiful they are and how proud of them she is. I know my mom well. I know, that if she was alive and healthy, if her disease had never taken her life, that she would be doing all of these things. I miss her so much. She had a kind of magic and love that I really miss. 

Anyhoo...I just want to say...that this diet isn't a magic cure-all for never feeling sad again. I did feel very sad. But I also, cried and let it go, and then felt better. -So no *depression* after feeling momentarily sad. Which is pretty effin' cool! I also didn't go running to food to comfort myself. Which was also very cool. 

Yesterday, I got a chance to talk with one of my best friends about the juice fast, which was really nice. She had so many good questions and we talked back and forth about our mutual issues with food and cravings and how we relate with food. She inspired me to keep making positive strides towards my good health. Let me just say, I LOVE talking with my friends about things like this. I get so much feedback and learn so much from what their experiences are. Plus, many times, they have a perspective that is a little bit different from mine, and they teach me the things that they have already learned. -Which is very helpful. So thanks! :)

After our chat, I got on the interwebs and started looking at YouTube videos of other people who have done juice fasts. Wow! There are a lot of them out there. The thing that struck me about quite a number of them, were the unhealthy pallor that many of the juicers took on after doing extended juice fasting. Their skin did NOT look like mine. In the last week, my skin has become markedly better. It's more radiant. It's not perfect by a long shot, but I can tell over time, that my acne will be much better after doing this for a few more weeks. A lot of them had also lost substantial muscle tone -which is something that I want to avoid at all costs. I have a long history of weight lifting. It's something that I really enjoy and I plan on not only maintaining the muscle that I have, but on building more of it while doing this juice fast. One more thing that came up while I was looking at these videos was the strict and restrictive approach that many of these people had. It was like they expected to consume nothing but juice for 30, 90, 100 days...and then eat nothing but raw fruits and vegetables. Which struck me as totally crazy and untenable. No wonder so many people aren't able to stick to this for long. My goal is to keep on doing this juice fast until: 1. my GI Tract issues are resolved. I want to be off of my medication for these things, I want to feel good in my body, no more intestinal or abdominal pain, no more vomiting, no more chronic diarrhea, and I would like for my labs to be normal.  My secondary goal is weight loss. I want to be healthy. So far, I am well on my way to achieving all of these goals and it feels good to be making progress in a positive direction in my life. But I really have to come up with a plan for my juice fast. I am nearing the 10 day point. My initial goal when I saw the "Fat Sick and Nearly Dead" documentary was to just juice like the truck driver until I was in shape. But after a few days, I switched my goal to doing 10 days. At which point, I will have a free day and then get back on the juice fast. I am tossing around a few ideas and am trying to figure out how I want to do this. What I'm thinking about doing (and most likely will) is incorporating several ideas that I have learned over the years, from "Body for Life" and also my years as a McDougall vegetarian. 

So...from "Body for Life"...I'm pretty much going to do the whole weight lifting and fitness regime. Weight lifting 3 days a week, and doing cardio on the off days, with one free day a week, where I don't have to exercise AND I can eat WHATEVER I WANT for 24 hours. :) I'm building up slowly to this goal and beginning with walking the dogs and going to the gym 3 times a week. Eventually I'll get up to 6 days a week. The idea of a free day seems so important to me though. I remember that it really helped me stick to the diet before. It was like a little mental trick, I knew I could eat healthfully because all I had to do was make it to Sunday and then I could have whatever special treat I wanted. And one day of eating what you want, will not stop weight loss. If anything it makes long-term healthy eating something that is actually *doable* because you have space for cravings and eating what ever you like without judgement or feeling bad. It's like a planned pressure release, so that I don't feel "deprived". The other thing that I was thinking about is doing one week of juice fasting, and one week of eating McDougall and juicing, and switching back and forth. I may end up doing this if simply juicing feels too restrictive. But I'm setting this up as the perimeter of my diet, so that I can fall back to it as a contingency plan if I need to, but also so that I continue on with my juice fast in some way. One other thing that I am thinking about is incorporating soy-based protein shakes because I really DON'T want to lose muscle. I don't want to end this thing looking gaunt and pale and like a good stiff wind will knock me over. I want to be radiant and healthy. Strong and full of energy. So, if I notice that I'm losing muscle, or if building muscle becomes too hard on this diet (which it *may* because I'm not eating very much protein...there is *some* protein in some of the vegetables that I am juicing...but who knows if it'll be enough to maintain healthy muscle tone?) I guess we'll just have to see and make adjustments as needed to address the issue of muscle building. Anyhoo...these are the things that I'm playing around with in my head. But I want to come up with a clear plan so that I am not just at the sway of my momentary instincts/cravings. So I'll be thinking about it. And have the plan in place by the end of day 10...which is TOMORROW!!!! YES! I am so excited. 

Things I learned today:

1. Juice tastes SO much better with a few ice cubes in it. Room temperature juice just isn't the same.
2. Talking with friends makes juicing easier and is a good way of getting feedback and ideas. My friends have a lot of wisdom to share. I bet yours do too!
3. The cravings really do get easier.
4. I'm paying more attention to the emotional connection to eating now. And noticing how stress cues my body to eat comfort food. -But not any more....I'm also noticing how I can change that, once I am aware of it, and the underlying emotional causes. SWEET!
5. I have to have a plan that includes enough protein to build muscle. Period. 
6. I also have to have an eating plan that is something that I can enjoy long-term. 

Day Three of the Juice Fast.

Day three, and I made it through pretty well. So my struggle yesterday both helped and hindered my progression. It hurt a little by sending me back to square one with the cravings. I had to go through the initial cravings of the first 24 again. But admittedly, they were far less this time BECAUSE of my fall from grace with the cupcake. I learned from that experience, so this time around, when I started feeling temptation, or hunger, or cravings for (today it was mini taco's...you know...those tiny ones that you can get from the freezer isle at Trader Joes?) ...Well previously, those had always seemed completely UNappetizing to me. But my housemate came home and baked a bunch up in the oven for his dinner, filling the entire house with the seductive and tantalizing aroma of mini-tacos. Yep. You heard that right. I'll probably never utter *that* ridiculous sentence out loud, but that is how jonesing I was people. I wanted to leave the house. And escape from temptation. But then Cute Boy said something that made me stand my ground. 

"You're gonna have to be able to overcome your cravings one day. People eat, and there's food everywhere." It was so true. I need to develop and master my ability to take charge over my cravings and impulses, and make good level headed decisions for myself. Trying to cloister myself off to avoid that is pointless because sooner or later, in order to have a healthy lifestyle *longterm*, I'm going to have to be able to go out into the great big world, where people eat all sorts of shit that's not good for them but tastes, smells, and feels good. And I'm going to have to be able to have the willpower to (even in that environment) make these same good choices for me. I have to be looking forward to the future, and my lifestyle choices beyond the fast. 

When consulting with my physician before beginning this juice fast, he said that the reason most diets don't work, is because they're not things that people can live with for the next 30 or so years. It's not enough to just lose the weight and momentarily improve your health, if you're not willing to also make the major lifestyle changes required to maintain those changes and continue to eat, drink, live, exercise in a way that you would be happy to make your life. So austerity is out the door for me. I have learned yet again, from past failures/experiences. In my teens and early twenties I was a McDougall vegetarian, which for those of you who didn't grow up in Sonoma County, he basically endorses a vegan diet. 

The basic idea behind McDougall Vegetarianism when I was doing it was: 

1. No Meat. Of any kind...and this includes fish and chicken for those of you who think that doesn't count. Also...no animal products, with the exception of honey. But no animal fats or lards. 
2. No Dairy. Milk, cheese, yogurt, etc. 
3. No Eggs.
4. Try to eat as many FRESH fruits, vegetables, and salads as possible. Legumes, baked potatoes, and whole grains are your friend. Eat them but always go for the whole grain unrefined version. 
5. You can eat bread and pastas but make sure they adhere to the restrictions of no dairy, eggs, etc. and make sure they're whole grain. This is going to mean a lot of package reading. Get used to this. It's all part of the McDougall lifestyle. But that's a good thing because you will become more conscious about the types of foods you eat, and actually *know* what's going into them.

The McDougall diet still stands today. I recently read an article about it, where the message seems to have been refined a bit from what I recall as a teen (but who knows...maybe I wasn't paying attention back then and missed this part?). Dr. McDougall has written a new book called "The Starch Solution", in which he still pushes his traditional diet but he emphasises the usefulness of ingesting plant based starches in our diets. This is a quote from the article promoting his new book: 

"Don’t skimp on the potatoes, corn, beans, whole grains, squash and other forms of plant-based starch. As long as you eat at least 900 calories of starch every day, you can eat whatever else you want and as much as you want.

It’s the same diet he has been advocating for the past 30 years, but after watching the rise and fall of low-fat and low-carbohydrate diets, McDougall still swears by it. The plan works because starches are low in calories and fat, he explains. When consumed at the level he recommends, they replace high-calorie, high-fat meats, cheeses and oils." 

This all makes a lot of sense to me. And from my years of experience eating this way, I can say that it really is  very difficult (almost impossible) to eat this way and get fat. So beyond the juice fast, I will most likely be returning to eating this way primarily. I will also, from time to time, as a special treat, have steak, cheese, ice-cream, whatever I like really. From what I recall, once you really throw yourself into eating like this, your taste buds seem to change and strangely, healthy things begin to become what you actually crave, and the heavier foods become less and less tempting, after you've indulged in them a few times, and found your stomach hurting for hours later. I will try to have a middle-way approach to my diet. Eat healthfully, but not focus on the restrictions as much as the desired things to eat such as fruits, veggies, and whole grains. 

The things that I have learned today are:

1. It's worthwhile to consider your relationship with food. Before this fast, I hadn't really been aware of how tied into food I was. My psyche, my social scene, and my happiness is deeply connected with food. That's not the end of the world. It's just an observation, which then makes it noticeable to me how important it is for me to develop my inner-strength and a more healthy relationship with food.
2. If you juice enough, your kitchen can smell fresh and green, like the Juice Shack, or a flower shop. 
3. One cannot juice a banana. ...But I gave it a go anyway. ;)

...oh it's also worthwhile to mention that cravings were still there today, but manageable. I did not have to take any of the anti-nausea medication, the muscle relaxer that works only on my intestines so that they stop hurting and giving me chronic diarrhea (yay TMI!), I also didn't feel nauseated today, I didn't have any acid reflux (totally amazing! Because mine is and has been bad for a very long time.) and I didn't have to take the medication that keeps my tummy acid production low..and I was still fine. Amazing. I felt good and clean from the inside. I had a bit of pain in my abdomen/intestinal area but not enough to warrant taking the medication for it. So these have all been really great improvements. The Cute Boy tells me that he thinks my skin is looking more radiant and glowy. Which is great encouragement (thanks Cute Boy!) and also just feels good to hear.