sSo yesterday was day EIGHT! And I made it through! I even sniffed my housemate's pizza, and admired how nice it looked. OK so I know that sounds silly...and like I MUST be jonesing for a pizza if I'm *sniffing* it like a drug...but I just wanted to enjoy the smell. with out having to indulge in the actual pizza itself. -And I did! Being able to pass on foods that would usually send me spiraling into a mass craving attack is a skill that I am *actively developing* in myself...and that's pretty cool as far as I'm concerned. This kind of stuff has historically NOT been my forte. But I'm getting better at it and learning so much through this juice fast.
All in all, the juice fast it's self went really well yesterday, and was one of the easiest days so far. I had very minor cravings, which were easily re-focused and re-directed. I enjoyed the taste of my juices. And overall felt really well. I did have a moment of sadness, when someone posted this meme on Facebook about moms. It went like this:
The last part about being willing to give everything up for my Mom to be here with me really got to me. I realize in a way, I have given everything up, but that doesn't bring back a loved one. The tears welled up inside of me and poured out, as I contemplated all of those adult years ahead of me -a vast stretch of time to me, where my mom wouldn't be around. I grieved the loss of the adult relationship, that we will never have the chance to have. And there's some really good stuff there. It makes me sad to think about all of those milestones and victories that my mom will not be here to share with me and my family. I miss her so much. And I love her so much. Where ever she is, I love her bigtime. Man...I WISH that I could go over to my mom's house and see her. I WISH that when I get married some day that my mom would be there laughing, dancing, and celebrating with me. (So I guess I'll just have to imagine that that's what she's doing in heaven on that day.) I WISH that she would gently and proudly hold and sway and dance with her grandchildren and tell them how loved and how beautiful they are and how proud of them she is. I know my mom well. I know, that if she was alive and healthy, if her disease had never taken her life, that she would be doing all of these things. I miss her so much. She had a kind of magic and love that I really miss.
Anyhoo...I just want to say...that this diet isn't a magic cure-all for never feeling sad again. I did feel very sad. But I also, cried and let it go, and then felt better. -So no *depression* after feeling momentarily sad. Which is pretty effin' cool! I also didn't go running to food to comfort myself. Which was also very cool.
Yesterday, I got a chance to talk with one of my best friends about the juice fast, which was really nice. She had so many good questions and we talked back and forth about our mutual issues with food and cravings and how we relate with food. She inspired me to keep making positive strides towards my good health. Let me just say, I LOVE talking with my friends about things like this. I get so much feedback and learn so much from what their experiences are. Plus, many times, they have a perspective that is a little bit different from mine, and they teach me the things that they have already learned. -Which is very helpful. So thanks! :)
After our chat, I got on the interwebs and started looking at YouTube videos of other people who have done juice fasts. Wow! There are a lot of them out there. The thing that struck me about quite a number of them, were the unhealthy pallor that many of the juicers took on after doing extended juice fasting. Their skin did NOT look like mine. In the last week, my skin has become markedly better. It's more radiant. It's not perfect by a long shot, but I can tell over time, that my acne will be much better after doing this for a few more weeks. A lot of them had also lost substantial muscle tone -which is something that I want to avoid at all costs. I have a long history of weight lifting. It's something that I really enjoy and I plan on not only maintaining the muscle that I have, but on building more of it while doing this juice fast. One more thing that came up while I was looking at these videos was the strict and restrictive approach that many of these people had. It was like they expected to consume nothing but juice for 30, 90, 100 days...and then eat nothing but raw fruits and vegetables. Which struck me as totally crazy and untenable. No wonder so many people aren't able to stick to this for long. My goal is to keep on doing this juice fast until: 1. my GI Tract issues are resolved. I want to be off of my medication for these things, I want to feel good in my body, no more intestinal or abdominal pain, no more vomiting, no more chronic diarrhea, and I would like for my labs to be normal. My secondary goal is weight loss. I want to be healthy. So far, I am well on my way to achieving all of these goals and it feels good to be making progress in a positive direction in my life. But I really have to come up with a plan for my juice fast. I am nearing the 10 day point. My initial goal when I saw the "Fat Sick and Nearly Dead" documentary was to just juice like the truck driver until I was in shape. But after a few days, I switched my goal to doing 10 days. At which point, I will have a free day and then get back on the juice fast. I am tossing around a few ideas and am trying to figure out how I want to do this. What I'm thinking about doing (and most likely will) is incorporating several ideas that I have learned over the years, from "Body for Life" and also my years as a McDougall vegetarian.
So...from "Body for Life"...I'm pretty much going to do the whole weight lifting and fitness regime. Weight lifting 3 days a week, and doing cardio on the off days, with one free day a week, where I don't have to exercise AND I can eat WHATEVER I WANT for 24 hours. :) I'm building up slowly to this goal and beginning with walking the dogs and going to the gym 3 times a week. Eventually I'll get up to 6 days a week. The idea of a free day seems so important to me though. I remember that it really helped me stick to the diet before. It was like a little mental trick, I knew I could eat healthfully because all I had to do was make it to Sunday and then I could have whatever special treat I wanted. And one day of eating what you want, will not stop weight loss. If anything it makes long-term healthy eating something that is actually *doable* because you have space for cravings and eating what ever you like without judgement or feeling bad. It's like a planned pressure release, so that I don't feel "deprived". The other thing that I was thinking about is doing one week of juice fasting, and one week of eating McDougall and juicing, and switching back and forth. I may end up doing this if simply juicing feels too restrictive. But I'm setting this up as the perimeter of my diet, so that I can fall back to it as a contingency plan if I need to, but also so that I continue on with my juice fast in some way. One other thing that I am thinking about is incorporating soy-based protein shakes because I really DON'T want to lose muscle. I don't want to end this thing looking gaunt and pale and like a good stiff wind will knock me over. I want to be radiant and healthy. Strong and full of energy. So, if I notice that I'm losing muscle, or if building muscle becomes too hard on this diet (which it *may* because I'm not eating very much protein...there is *some* protein in some of the vegetables that I am juicing...but who knows if it'll be enough to maintain healthy muscle tone?) I guess we'll just have to see and make adjustments as needed to address the issue of muscle building. Anyhoo...these are the things that I'm playing around with in my head. But I want to come up with a clear plan so that I am not just at the sway of my momentary instincts/cravings. So I'll be thinking about it. And have the plan in place by the end of day 10...which is TOMORROW!!!! YES! I am so excited.
Things I learned today:
- Juice tastes SO much better with a few ice cubes in it. Room temperature juice just isn't the same.
- Talking with friends makes juicing easier and is a good way of getting feedback and ideas. My friends have a lot of wisdom to share. I bet yours do too!
- The cravings really do get easier.
- I'm paying more attention to the emotional connection to eating now. And noticing how stress cues my body to eat comfort food. -But not any more....I'm also noticing how I can change that, once I am aware of it, and the underlying emotional causes. SWEET!
- I have to have a plan that includes enough protein to build muscle. Period.
- I also have to have an eating plan that is something that I can enjoy long-term.
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