I have a monster in my brain. It's been there for a long time. Ever since I was a child. I would say that it takes up a fair amount of my mental space. Perhaps about 90%? Depending on the day...sometimes it's more...sometimes it's less...but it's always there, unfortunately. It's that nasty little voice that tells me that I am going to fail. That one way or another, that things will fall apart. No matter how hard I work to shore up one side of the box..and tape it up...that just as sure as anything, as soon as that's done, the other side of the box will come spilling out. That failure is my path. No matter what the subject is.
Weight loss? -You're fat. You can't do it. Have you ever been successful at that really? (said with a snide piercing voice and a condescending raised eyebrow. -Yes...the voices in my head can even raise their imaginary eyebrows.)
The Perfect Man? -Get real! You don't have what it takes to attract that guy. Let alone keep him happy. Why would anyone love a fat, ugly thing like you?
School? -You're not good enough. Smart enough. You just don't have what it takes. Sorry. -Next!
Keeping The House? -You are just one of many sad sad stories. You won't be able to. Your mother lost the home when she took out that mortgage on it. And that fate was sealed permanently with her death.
It's time to start shrinking those monsters. Take a good look at them and start to see them for what they are. Chip away at them. See that they are not so big and bad after all. I think I'll go into the old office and see my monster face to face. Find out how she's doing. :p Just so that I don't feel so daunted anymore by her. Hopefully she'll be having a bad hair day. :D
Weight loss? -You're fat. You can't do it. Have you ever been successful at that really? (said with a snide piercing voice and a condescending raised eyebrow. -Yes...the voices in my head can even raise their imaginary eyebrows.)
The Perfect Man? -Get real! You don't have what it takes to attract that guy. Let alone keep him happy. Why would anyone love a fat, ugly thing like you?
School? -You're not good enough. Smart enough. You just don't have what it takes. Sorry. -Next!
Keeping The House? -You are just one of many sad sad stories. You won't be able to. Your mother lost the home when she took out that mortgage on it. And that fate was sealed permanently with her death.
It's time to start shrinking those monsters. Take a good look at them and start to see them for what they are. Chip away at them. See that they are not so big and bad after all. I think I'll go into the old office and see my monster face to face. Find out how she's doing. :p Just so that I don't feel so daunted anymore by her. Hopefully she'll be having a bad hair day. :D
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